[Vol. 7] Chapter 73: Me and "Me"
The book says that when a newborn first opens its eyes, it instinctively recognizes the first thing it sees as its mother. It's an innate biological response.
But I don’t have that instinct.
My name is Xiao Guang. It’s a simple, straightforward, and somewhat plain name. One that was given to me by my master.
The moment I became aware and opened my eyes for the first time, I saw her.
She held me in her arms, carefully wrapping me in fabric called "clothing." Her body, though not very large, shielded me from the roaring thunder and howling wind outside. That warmth and protection became my first impression of her.
I couldn’t remember anything. Or rather, I was a newborn, a blank slate. That sense of the unknown made me instinctively wary of any living creature that approached, including her.
Even though I might not remember anything else, one thing I do remember is that she is my master.
I didn’t feel the urge to recognize the first being I saw as my mother, unlike what the books described. But she was still... different. Just meeting her gaze stirred something deep inside me, an unfamiliar yet comforting warmth. And the more time I spent with her, the stronger that feeling grew.
I am a rational being. I tried to suppress the intense fondness that seemed to come from nowhere. But at the same time, I was aware that, as a newborn with no knowledge of the world, I needed someone, someone I could trust, someone I could depend on.
So, after much thought, I chose her. I followed my instincts and accepted her as my master.
Violet, my master, gave me this name. She told me it came from another "Me", a close companion of hers from the past.
She said that I am still "Me", just that I had only recently been reborn into this form and had yet to regain my past memories.
Maybe that’s true. But I don’t really feel that way.
Also, the name Xiao Guang feels a little too... casual. I mean, after interacting with the outside world more, I realized it sounds a lot like something people name their pets, like a cat or a dog.
...Then again, considering that "Me" is technically my master’s pet dragon, I guess the name does make sense.
Master is strong, far stronger than I am. That is the main reason I chose to follow and obey her. The instinct to follow strength is another biological trait, and in this regard, I am no exception.
But as I spent more time with her, I realized something odd. My master has... some rather strange interests.
She enjoys spending time with creatures so weak that we could easily crush them without a second thought. She befriends them, interacts with them, and even treats them as equals, sometimes with respect.
Why Does She Do This?
I really don’t understand.
The strong rule over the weak, and the weak submit to the strong. That is the most basic, natural law. Even though I don’t remember much and still have a lot to learn, I can clearly see how strange and illogical my master’s actions are.
If I put myself in her place, if she wasn’t so overwhelmingly powerful that I couldn't even think of resisting, then I would have been far more cautious when choosing whom to follow. Even if she made me feel that same strong sense of familiarity and warmth, I wouldn’t have accepted it so easily.
Doesn’t she feel frustrated? Doesn’t she feel humiliated?
She allows those insignificant creatures, beings as small and weak as ants, to speak to her so casually, without even the slightest fear or reverence.
…Fine, I admit, compared to most others, they actually treat her with a lot of respect. But it’s still not enough to bridge the absolute gap between them.
Especially that foolish human Le Qiaoqiao, the way she acts, her every gesture and word, is overflowing with arrogance and disrespect.
So, I decided to punish her.
It was nothing serious, just a minor warning. I didn’t even harm her in any meaningful way. But even that was enough to earn my master’s displeasure and reprimand.
She was no longer gentle. This time, she spoke in a serious and stern tone, telling me,
[You cannot use your strength to bully the weak or attack others at will. She didn’t mean any harm. She was just trying to get closer to you. If you don’t like it, you should express that with words, not violence.]
Master wasn’t joking.
And because I instinctively obey and trust those who are stronger than me, I backed down.
She constantly reminds me that force is only a last resort, that she doesn’t actually like fighting.
To be honest, ever since I woke up, I’ve always been by my master’s side. She has taught me many things, useful, effective skills and knowledge. She has proven time and again that she is wise, that her every action is carefully thought out. She is a leader truly worthy of trust and loyalty.
But…
This is the one thing I still can’t understand.
Why does she view power so differently from me?
Despite being so far above others, she treats everyone, even those much weaker than her, as if they are her equals.
…Maybe this is why she is my master.
And maybe… this is also why she cares for me, even though I am merely her follower.
To Be Honest…I won’t deny it. There were times when I secretly felt relieved by my master’s beliefs.
After all, because of her views, my life is much easier, and I’ve been able to grow faster and more comfortably.
But when I think about it more deeply, I only feel more confused.
Is my master right?
Should I also treat every tiny, insignificant creature as if they are my equal?
I wonder… what did the previous me think about this?
I don’t know.
This temporary memory loss has completely cut me off from my past. It’s as if I’m a different being altogether. Master said this was a side effect of evolution and a few coincidences, and that it won’t last forever.
And honestly… I can feel something, like an instinct, telling me that my memories will return. Maybe once I remember everything, once I become the old me again, all of these doubts will simply disappear. Maybe all I need to do is wait.
But my master doesn’t think so. She keeps pushing me to think, to explore, to actively seek answers. She even called this "a rare opportunity."
That’s when I suddenly realized something. Instincts don’t change easily.
If I am still me, then maybe the old me struggled with the exact same questions.
Maybe she was also trapped in this same confusion, frustrated by things she couldn’t understand.
And maybe, because of that, she felt lost, so lost that it hurt.
…Somehow, this thought just surfaced in my mind, as if it had always been there. Perhaps that’s why the old me chose to let go of everything.
To break free from her past. All of it.
To see the world from a new perspective, as someone both the same and different.
To search for the things she couldn’t see before.
To do the things she never would have done.
If that’s the case… Then I should try to understand. I should try to change.
Before I regain my old memories, before I become the old me again. I will search for the answers with these unclouded eyes.
Just as my master hopes I will.
Just as she believes I can.
I will find our path. One that truly belongs to us.
…Perhaps that is why I exist.
Oh, and by the way, this isn’t a metaphor.
If I’m not mistaken, I am currently in the process of being absolutely kidnapped by a bunch of "poachers" or something.
Of course, I did this on purpose.