Chapter 129: A Heart of Pity
...How did things end up like this?
Armand opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. All the complaints he wanted to say were stuck in his throat.
Evelia’s words were just way too suggestive. If not for her usual blank expression, Armand might’ve actually let himself be misled by what she said.
—The "like" Evelia spoke of definitely wasn’t that kind of “like.”
At some point, Armand had come to define Evelia as someone like this.
To outsiders, her emotionless expression seemed cold and distant, like she was pushing everyone away. But after spending time with her, Armand realized it wasn’t true coldness. It was more like confusion... or simply not understanding.
Evelia didn’t get emotions. So she wouldn’t say something like “I like you” in a romantic way.
She probably meant something else.
That’s what Armand told himself. But strangely, that made him feel even more conflicted inside.
In the distance, Rachel hadn’t been able to hear their earlier quiet exchange clearly. But thanks to a sudden gust of wind, that one sentence—“Do you like me?”—drifted right into her ears.
What an exciting thing to hear! Rachel wanted to stretch her ears like a rabbit’s just to catch every single word that followed.
Unfortunately, the wind didn’t cooperate after that. It was like having bad reception. After the question “Do you like me?” came through, everything else between Evelia and Armand got muffled again. Rachel clenched her little fists and stomped her feet in frustration.
In the end, unable to handle being left hanging after such a dramatic opening, she decided to take the risk and sneak a bit closer.
“Eve… sigh, Eve… you really are something...”
Armand murmured.
Unlike true “numbness,” which comes from seeing too much pain and being emotionally burned out by joy and sorrow, Evelia wasn’t like that. She was just missing some of the emotions that others naturally had. That was easier to deal with.
True numbness comes from experiencing the harshest parts of life, being worn down by countless ups and downs, tasting every bitter flavor until you have no choice but to shut down your heart.
But Evelia, she was like a blank sheet of paper. What she needed was someone to draw the right colors on her, to show her that there’s more to the world than just white.
If this had been before, or if it had been someone else, Armand probably wouldn’t have cared. He wasn’t the type to worry about someone else’s personality or approach. He would’ve just focused on what he had to do, refusing to slow down for anyone. He wouldn’t be here, having this kind of awkward, personal conversation.
Even if he had good intentions, at most he would’ve just corrected Evelia’s wording. He would’ve bluntly lectured her and moved on. That’s how most master-servant relationships were supposed to be. Right now, Evelia was clearly overstepping those boundaries.
But now...
Maybe it was because he knew he didn’t have much time left.
Maybe it was because he saw something of himself in Evelia.
Or maybe, it was something else entirely.
Whatever the reason, Armand had decided to slow down. Even though he still had things he needed to do, he found himself caring more and more about the people around him and the things happening in his life.
He stayed alert around Evelia. He paid attention to Evelia. And at the same time... he pitied Evelia.
Pitying someone without permission was usually seen as rude. But that’s how Armand truly felt.
After all, she was a child who came from the “House of Nightingales.” Whether they died inside, or survived only to become someone’s obedient tool...
Everyone who came from there had a life filled with tragedy.
Though... Armand really hated that kind of tragedy, especially the kind that was artificially created for dramatic effect.
“Eve...”
Armand didn’t give Evelia a direct answer. He just mumbled her name softly, resting his curled hand against his lips, and looked to the side as if deep in thought.
“Have you ever thought about staying?”
In the end, instead of answering Evelia’s bold question, Armand replied with a question of his own.
“What did you say?” Evelia looked clearly confused.
“I mean… staying,” he repeated.
The words were simple and easy to understand. Armand meant exactly what it sounded like on the surface.
—Stay here, at the estate. Stay with me.
But unlike Evelia, who always spoke her mind so directly, Armand couldn’t bring himself to say something that cheesy out loud. Even when he just said the words “stay here,” he instinctively raised his hand to cover the lower half of his face, like he was trying to hide how flustered he was.
…You’re almost thirty. What are you being shy for?
That was Rachel’s silent thought as she watched from nearby.
While Armand was still thinking hard about what to say next, that little spy had already crept closer. She was now hiding in the bushes just outside the horse yard fence, peeking her head out and holding two twigs like binoculars. She had managed to snag herself a front-row seat.
“I am here right now, aren’t I, Mr. Armand?” Evelia replied calmly.
“Ah… well, yeah, that’s true...”
Armand felt Rachel’s eyes on him even though she was trying to hide. He reminded himself she was just a child who didn’t understand anything yet. But still, he couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous.
“What I mean is, not just right now. You get what I’m saying, right?”
“You mean… in the future?”
“—Yeah, that’s right. That’s what I meant.”
Armand followed Evelia’s words and nodded, all while trying to figure out the best way to say what he was really thinking.
To be honest, ever since the fireworks festival, he had started to wonder. Why was Evelia working for the second prince?
He knew very well that part of the complicated feelings he had toward Evelia came from that very fact, that she was under the second prince’s command.
Armand didn’t know if his feelings for her came from pity… or if he was just trying to keep up the image of being a clueless and harmless guy so he wouldn’t spook her. Maybe he was just afraid to ruin the delicate balance they had now.
But if he wanted to find out the truth, he knew he had to dig deeper.
And yet… he didn’t dare take that next step. The only thing stopping him was the fact that she worked for the second prince.
But what if she didn’t?
Or rather, what if she stopped working for him?
Armand had reason to suspect that some of Evelia’s recent actions were an attempt to win him over. He still didn’t know what her exact goal was, but if Evelia was trying to please him…
Then why couldn’t he take that chance and respond in kind?
He could teach her what emotions are. He could let her experience what it’s like to be cared for. And if, by doing that, he could take her away from the second prince’s control. If she could become his...
…Ha.
Armand let out a quiet, self-mocking laugh in his mind.
Ever since he met Evelia, he felt like he’d been walking further and further down the path of a scumbag…
And there might be no turning back.