Chapter 114: Can’t Sleep?
After a quick wash, Rachel was tossed onto the small bed the old butler had prepared for her by Evelia.
Since it was the old butler who chose it, there was no way it would be uncomfortable. The bed was really cozy, and the pillow was just the right height. It wouldn’t give her a sore neck. Although it was called a “children’s bed,” for her small body, it was more than big enough to roll around a few times.
Even though Evelia’s room was technically servant quarters, it was way more luxurious than what regular maids had. Armand really took good care of her. The space was quite big, so there was plenty of room to fit a bed for Rachel. It looked a little out of place compared to before, but the room was still spacious enough.
Evelia couldn’t exactly tell Armand her room was too small either, because she truly didn’t want to stay in the estate’s main building. She couldn’t let a small detail like this mess up her whole mission.
After organizing everything, Evelia half-laid on her bed. Because of her profession, she never wore things like pajamas. So even though she was getting ready to rest, she was still dressed in her maid uniform. But there was no need to worry about the clothes getting wrinkled, Evelia would never sleep in a messy position.
Besides, she might not even fall asleep at all.
Just like everyone else in her line of work, Evelia slept extremely lightly. You could say she was always in a state of “resting with her eyes closed,” like a highly alert little dog. She might look calm and asleep, but even the slightest noise or movement would wake her up and have her planning her next move.
After all, if she really fell into a deep sleep, it’d be far too easy for someone to cut off her head in her sleep.
That wasn’t just a scary thought. It was part of the training at the House of Nightingales.
Every child there who seemed to have potential would be given a private room. Of course, it was nothing like the dorm Evelia lived in now. Back then, her “private room” was more like a prison cell with a thick blanket on the floor. The back wall was solid, but the other three sides were all iron bars. It looked exactly like a jail cell. Still, it was better than sharing a room with others. At least there weren’t rats suddenly jumping out.
But the real difference was this, in the shared rooms, there were clear rules like “no killing allowed.” But in the solo cells, that rule didn’t exist. There, it was perfectly possible, and even expected, for one person to kill another.
So back then, young Evelia had to stay constantly on guard. In other people’s eyes, she was just a small and weak child, an easy target.
Luckily, during her hardest time, the person in the cell next to hers helped her a lot. Not only did they teach her how to survive, but they even protected her more than once.
But in the end, that person didn’t keep their promise. They didn’t take her away from that place.
That was… more than ten years ago.
Evelia, who claimed to be eighteen, obviously wasn’t really eighteen. She had long forgotten what that person looked like, or what their voice sounded like. It had been too long, everything had faded.
She should have remembered. It should have been unforgettable. But, Evelia chose to forget.
She wasn’t the kind of person who liked to poke at old wounds to motivate herself. So she never tried to remember.
But for some reason, ever since meeting Armand, those long-buried feelings would sometimes flash through her mind.
Was it to remind herself of the reality she was in now?
Or was it something simpler… maybe she still longed to grab someone’s hand and escape with them?
Or maybe...
“…Hoo.”
With that thought, Evelia took a deep breath.
The phrase "restless and troubled" fit her mood perfectly right now. And the best way to deal with such feelings was to cut them off, stop thinking entirely.
That’s what Evelia tried to do. But as soon as she closed her eyes, her mind, now quiet, couldn’t help but play those unwanted scenes again and again.
Like her own brain was playing cruel jokes, those blurry memories kept flashing before her eyes.
Evelia lay flat on the bed, her body slightly tilted down, feet hanging off the edge, still wearing her shoes.
Her breathing was uneven. To calm her mind, she kept taking deep breaths. The sound wasn’t loud like snoring, but it was heavy enough that Rachel, lying nearby, frowned at the noise.
‘What’s wrong with her?’ Rachel grumbled in her mind.
‘Why all the sighing? Is she upset because I’m sleeping here? Come on, I’m the one who should be sighing!’
Thinking that, Rachel let out a long sigh herself.
It really felt like she had walked right into a wolf’s den.
Rachel had finally found a nice bed to sleep in, but the person lying closest to her… was the one who had killed her once, and even tried to kill her a second time.
Wasn’t she just a lamb waiting to be slaughtered?
Because of that, Rachel didn’t dare fall asleep. She was scared that if she closed her eyes, she might not live to see the next sunrise.
Evelia wasn’t asleep, and neither was Rachel.
Evelia stayed completely still because of her calm sleeping habits, making no noise at all. Rachel, on the other hand, didn’t move a muscle out of fear she’d disturb Evelia.
From the outside, it looked very peaceful. But neither of them had settled into proper breathing.
Evelia kept taking deep breaths to calm herself down, while Rachel, though sighing a little, was trying to keep her sounds as quiet as a kitten’s. But even those small, soft sounds still reached Evelia’s ears.
“Rachel...”
After who knows how many rounds of breathing in and out, Evelia slowly opened her eyes. She called Rachel’s name, but didn’t look at her. Just silently lifted her head to stare at the ceiling.
“...W-What is it?”
Rachel had wanted to pretend to be asleep and not answer, but after thinking about it, she figured if Evelia was calling her, she probably already knew she wasn’t asleep. So she gave up on pretending and replied nervously.
“Can’t sleep, huh.”
“——”
The tone sounded more like a question than a concern, and it made Rachel flinch a little.
She had been grumbling about Evelia nonstop in her head, but now that she had to actually speak to her, she immediately became scared.
Did not sleeping bother Evelia?
“I… I’ll sleep now…”
Rachel quickly shut her eyes, forcing herself to think about how to fall asleep.
“......”
Hearing Rachel say she’d go to sleep, Evelia thought she really meant it. She had only wanted to make small talk to distract herself a bit, but since Rachel sounded like she was trying to sleep, Evelia didn’t push it. She simply went quiet again and kept staring at the ceiling.
Even though she had, at one point, seriously considered just tossing Rachel away…
Maybe, having someone to talk to wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
But poor little nervous Rachel didn’t look like she could fall asleep at all.
Evelia clearly heard the sound of her swallowing nervously. After a while, she asked again.
“Can’t sleep?”
“I…”
Rachel didn’t know how to answer. She didn’t know what to say that would make Evelia satisfied.
“I can’t sleep either.”
“...Huh?”
Rachel hadn’t expected that kind of answer.
Was she… having trouble sleeping and looking for comfort?
The famous “Red Crow” had a side like this?
“Th-Then… why can’t you sleep?” Somehow, Rachel found the courage to ask.
“Probably just troubled.”
It wasn’t something she needed to hide, so Evelia answered calmly.
“Troubled?”
“Mm.”
It was such a short reply that Rachel felt a bit awkward.
“So… Mom, you're saying… you can’t sleep because you're troubled?”
“Sleep doesn't matter.”
“Ah—” Rachel blinked and thought about her words. “So the important part is that you're troubled. Hmm… If you’re feeling that way, maybe you just need to find something that makes you feel better.”
Even Rachel thought she was saying something super obvious and kind of useless.
But hey, at least it wasn’t wrong.
“I see.”
That was all Evelia said. Then she fell silent again, thinking about what exactly might bring her peace of mind.
“......”
Rachel scratched her head, unsure of Evelia’s personality. But then, like something suddenly came to her, she nodded to herself, took a deep breath, and said,
“Then, Mom, if you want to feel better, how about going to Dad right now?”