Chapter 119: A Moment of Peace
—What is this feeling… really?
Evelia curled up in Armand’s arms, wrapped in a deep sense of comfort that she couldn’t quite explain.
Even though Evelia was tall for a woman, Armand was tall and broad enough to completely envelop her in his embrace. She felt like she was being held entirely, with Armand’s warmth soaking into every inch of her skin.
…She didn’t understand it.
Why did something as simple as a hug make her feel this way?
But when she thought back to her past… she realized, she had almost never been hugged before.
Besides the few times she’d been close to Armand, most of her physical contact with others had been in situations like slitting someone’s throat during an assassination, or moving corpses to destroy evidence.
A warm, simple hug like this, one that surrounded her completely, was something Evelia had never experienced. She had hugged Armand a few times before, but it had never felt like this.
…So warm.
Evelia returned the hug, even tighter than the way Armand was holding her, almost as if she was afraid he would leave. She clung to him, locking him in place beside her.
Armand’s steady heartbeat thumped right by her ear, and her own wildly beating heart made her breath grow a little short. Each warm breath she exhaled brushed against his chest.
Why… why is my body reacting this way?
Is there something wrong with me?
The sound of her racing heartbeat echoed in her ears. Evelia wanted to calm herself down, but her body just wouldn’t listen.
Armand hadn’t expected Evelia to hug him so tightly. He didn’t push her away, but he was curious. He glanced down at her face.
Maybe because of how closely they were pressed together, or maybe because it was a little stuffy, Armand noticed something rare, Evelia’s cheeks were slightly red. Her flushed face made her look unusually cute.
With the moonlight barely slipping through the gap in the curtains, Armand’s figure blocked most of the light. Evelia now rested in his shadow. She still wore her usual expression, calm and emotionless, but her golden eyes shimmered faintly. Even with the light behind her, Armand could still clearly see that soft glow in her pale golden gaze.
Their eyes met.
Normally, when they stared at each other like this, Armand would be the first to look away. But this time, after only a few seconds, it was Evelia who turned her eyes away first. She lowered her head and tucked her face into Armand’s chest.
Under normal circumstances, with Evelia’s chest pressing lightly against him, a healthy man like Armand might have had a few… less appropriate thoughts.
But now, seeing her curl up so quietly and vulnerably in his arms, he didn’t think of anything like that. Just as Rachel had hoped, Evelia’s fragile look awakened Armand’s instinct to protect her.
“…What’s wrong?”
Armand asked gently, his deep voice calm and soft. His breath brushed against Evelia’s ear.
Although it was far from the time Evelia had boldly licked his ear, that gentle breath still made her shiver slightly. Her waist tensed, and she straightened her legs and pressed her toes down, reacting instinctively to the ticklish warmth crawling into her ear.
“…Mr. Armand.”
The breath at her ear made Evelia shrink away a little, but she had nowhere else to go, so she only leaned closer into him.
And then—
“Mr. Armand… I might be acting out of line, but… please, don’t leave yet. Is that okay?”
She had never planned to leave. In fact, she was even greedy for more. She wanted to stay close like this, to keep holding on.
Because she had never felt something like this before. Since the moment she could remember, her life had always been hard.
No one had ever loved her. No one had ever hugged her.
All along the way, it had only been her, obeying the Second Prince’s orders all alone, with no one by her side.
It was like how she fell in love with ketchup, one taste and she couldn’t get enough of it.
Now, this feeling from being held in someone’s arms… she didn’t want to let it go either.
She couldn’t help but think, if only she could understand emotions. If only she could learn how to feel like a normal person. Maybe then, she wouldn’t feel so helpless right now. Maybe she wouldn’t be sitting here, not even understanding why she felt this way.
“Don’t worry, I’ll stay with you.”
Armand gently patted Evelia’s head, helping ease the anxiety swirling in her mind.
His warm breath brushed against her ear again. Evelia’s waist softened, and her legs, still clad in white stockings, twitched a little as if she didn’t know where to put them.
Even though her face didn’t show it, Armand could tell that something was bothering her.
He remembered how Evelia once teased him about the dark circles under his eyes from not sleeping well. Now, it was his turn to say the same.
“Haven’t been sleeping well lately?”
It was obvious she was tired, her exhaustion was written all over her face, like she had been troubled by something for a long time.
“…A dream.”
“Ah, I see… a dream.” Armand chuckled softly as he held her close. “Nightmares really are a pain, huh?”
If anyone could say that, it was him. After all, he hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep in ages because of his own nightmares.
“So, what kind of nightmare did you have, Evelia?”
He was genuinely curious. After all, they were alike in this.
“……”
But Evelia said nothing. She just lay there, silent.
…She doesn’t want to talk about it, Armand thought.
Must be something secret. But then again, that made sense. Anyone who came out of a place like the House of Nightingales was bound to have nightmares.
“Alright then, we won’t talk about the dream. Just rest. I’ll be right here.”
He gently patted her back, like calming a child who couldn’t fall asleep.
Maybe it wasn’t the right time to be suspicious of Evelia. But truthfully, Armand was still wondering. Just who is she, really?
There was too much about her that was both true and false. Even now, Armand didn’t dare let his feelings fully fall for her.
He had thought before, if they weren’t enemies, maybe he really would be interested in a girl like Evelia.
But unfortunately… the burdens they each carried were far too heavy. So heavy, that neither of them could even breathe freely.
Evelia didn’t say another word. She simply lay there, listening to his heartbeat. And to her own breathing.
She shouldn’t have let herself fall asleep. She was an assassin. She wasn’t supposed to close her eyes in front of someone else, especially not in an unfamiliar place.
But wrapped in this unfamiliar feeling of safety, sleep began to quietly take her over.
…I’m so tired.
Just this once… I want to rest properly…
As her breathing slowly grew steady, Evelia finally drifted off into sleep.
Armand quietly watched her sleeping face. He said nothing, just gently brushed the hair from her forehead and sighed deeply in his heart.