Chapter 182: The Last Regret Before Becoming a Woman, Not Wanting to Be a Virgin
Seriously, should she really speed up her gender transformation on purpose?
Lin Yibai was startled by her own thought.
How could anyone want to speed up something like this? Didn’t that mean she was having serious mental problems?
But she had to admit, her mindset had changed a lot.
From the very first time she started turning into a girl, she hadn’t shown much resistance.
At the beginning, her goal was very practical. She just wanted to use the female identity to gain advantages.
That was it. But bit by bit…
She started to feel that something was off.
First of all, the transformation path was one-way. There was no going back.
You could either become a girl sooner or later. But there was no choice to not become a girl.
And then, something else happened that made everything more confusing.
“My love rival!!” Lin Yibai muttered the word out loud as she turned over in bed.
She hugged a thin blanket to her chest, burying her head deep inside it.
Muffled by the covers, she grumbled, “That guy… Xia Changyu, why does he have to chase after me? Can’t he just accept that he’s my rival and leave me alone? If he did that, I wouldn’t be feeling so torn up like this!”
But... didn’t she feel something different, too?
It was like arriving in a new, unfamiliar city. There were sights she’d never seen before.
She realized that Xia Changyu, besides being her "rival" in the past, was actually… kind of a great guy in every way.
And even the “rival” part?
That was probably a misunderstanding.
Back then, it was her ex-girlfriend, Gu Xiaoxue, who chased after Xia Changyu for his money and status.
Yet Lin Yibai had always blamed Xia Changyu for it.
"Ahhh... huff... huff..."
Lin Yibai was starting to feel out of breath under the covers. She threw off the blanket and started gasping for air. Her face was bright red, maybe from the heat or maybe for some other reason.
Her body felt a little warm.
Maybe… She had already made her decision?
This kind of thing felt like fighting a demon inside her heart. You either break through it or let it break you.
So Lin Yibai made up her mind and said out loud.
"At this point… I might as well speed it up!"
Whether she changed early or late. In the end, the result would be the same. She would still become a girl.
So, who supports it? Who’s against it?
Also, she’d had a strong belief since the very beginning.
If she had to be a man, then be one all the way. If she had to be a woman, then go all the way, too. No halfway. No compromise.
Besides…
Lin Yibai slowly moved her hand downward. That area… was still perfectly smooth and flat.
But she knew, if she ever changed back to being male, that weird thing would grow back again.
She thought seriously to herself.
“Right now, my face is already a girl’s face. My hair is like a girl’s, and my chest is even bigger than most real girls’ chests. If that weird thing grows back now… wouldn’t I basically be like one of those 'traps' people talk about?”
Those "thing" below...
It was already extra baggage. Strange, out-of-place things that no longer matched the rest of her.
So then, let’s speed it up!
After a long struggle in her mind, Lin Yibai had finally prepared herself mentally.
But there was just one last thing she still cared about. Only one. The only one.
She said to herself, “I… I’ve never even used my ‘gun’… and now it’s going to be gone... Isn’t that kind of… well, a little sad?”
She had never even used it… and soon it would disappear forever.
At least let it go out with a little action, right?
Maybe fire it once or twice? Just so she wouldn’t have regrets?
This was her one last, small wish before fully turning into a girl. A regret-free gender transformation.
Was it too much to ask for someone to help fulfill this tiny wish?
To make up for that one last regret, Lin Yibai started thinking seriously about how she could “make it happen.”
First, trying to find a girlfriend and go from dating to sleeping together?
Totally impossible now. Way too late.
Second, going to a bar to hook up? Way too risky.
She told herself. “Don’t be naive. Just because nothing bad happened before doesn’t mean it won’t now.”
Honestly, if she really wanted that, a spa or massage place would be safer. At least the ladies there get regular health checks. And honestly… they’d probably be more scared of you than you are of them.
So, she put on a mask and went out. She had made up her mind.
She sat across the street from a massage place for half a day, waiting for her body to switch back to male.
But then… a terrible realization hit her.
She crossed her arms over her chest.
No, wait! She was holding up her chest, and her arms felt a lot of weight. Like, really heavy.
At least a D cup, right?
“Damn!!” She clapped her hands in frustration, almost stomping her feet.
She yelled, full of regret, “I completely forgot my upper body already looks like a real girl! What’s the point of going to a massage place to ‘make up for regrets’ if I walk in, take off my clothes, and the ladies working there realize my chest is even bigger than theirs?!”
“Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!”
This day… What kind of mess was this?
Now she truly regretted it. Very, very much.
If she had known it would come to this, she would have taken care of her regret long ago.
Was her dream now shattered? No, there had to be another way.
After thinking hard for a long time and ruling out using her own pretty hand, Lin Yibai finally said,
“At this point, the only thing I can do… is just order something online.”
Order what?
Well… Even she didn’t want to admit it out loud.
But it was about regret, okay? Just fixing a regret!
After all, she used to be a guy. Shouldn’t she at least experience the happiness that guys feel, just once?
Even if that happiness wasn’t real. Even if it came from a life-size, realistic... toy.
She stopped herself before saying too much. Otherwise even she would feel like she was being too weird.
Regret. It was all for fixing her last regret.
And who says “fake” doesn’t count?
So she made the order on Taobao. And because this might be her one and only chance in life, she refused to settle for anything cheap.
If she was going to buy one, it had to be high quality. So she spent 699 yuan without even blinking.
Of course, for dignity’s sake, she picked a model that looked like a regular thermos bottle.
The “cup” would arrive in a few days.
In the meantime, Lin Yibai used the waiting time to speed up her transformation progress. And in just a few days, her transformation rate had already reached 33%.
While she was anxiously waiting, the delivery for her “cup” finally arrived at her place.
At the same time, a BMW, one that clearly knew its way around, pulled up outside the old apartment complex again.
Xia Changyu felt something strange. Why had Baiyi been acting all secretive these past few days?
They hadn’t seen each other much, and mostly just texted on their phones. So today, he took time out of his schedule to come visit her.
“Did something I said the other day upset her?” he wondered worriedly.
As soon as Xia Changyu stepped into the apartment area, he saw a girl acting sneaky and super careful, picking up a package.
“Bai—” He started to call out to her.
Then he paused and decided not to. After all, he already knew where she lived. Look at that, she was in such a hurry she didn’t even close the door properly.
Lin Yibai had picked up the delivery with a racing heart and shaking hands.
She hadn’t closed the door because she wanted to open the box right away and throw the cardboard into the trash outside.
But someone was getting closer and closer.
Until—
Knock knock knock~
The door wasn’t even closed. Xia Changyu pushed it open and asked, “Baiyi, what were you doing just now, all sneaky like that?”
Lin Yibai froze. Actually, she was totally shocked.
“Ahhh!!!”
What the heck! Why are you here! Are you trying to scare me to death?!