Chapter 183: Am I Gay?!
Xia Changyu suddenly appearing behind her was something unexpected.
You’re asking what I was doing? How am I supposed to tell you I was opening a ‘thermos’ right now?! Would you even believe that?!
Lin Yibai fumbled awkwardly, the package nearly slipping from her fingers as she stammered, “N-Nothing! Just… something I ordered. For work. A… water bottle. You know, to stay hydrated?”
Lin Yibai forced a dry laugh. “Gotta stay healthy, right? Heh… heh…”
Xia Changyu looked around. The place was tidy, maybe a little too tidy. He narrowed his eyes slightly. He raised an eyebrow but didn't try to pry further.
He stepped into the room casually, and for a terrifying moment, Lin Yibai worried he’d ask to see it. But thankfully, he just flopped onto the sofa and pulled out his phone.
She took the opportunity to quickly hide the thermos.
They chatted for a bit, the usual about school and work. Xia Changyu didn’t ask any more questions, but he kept throwing little glances at Lin Yibai now and then, like he was trying to read something hidden behind her smile.
Eventually, Xia Changyu stood and stretched. “Alright, I’ve got to head back. You haven’t been responding much lately. Just wanted to check if everything was okay.”
Lin Yibai said, “Y-Yeah, all good. Just, you know, studying. Trying to focus.”
Xia Changyu: “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Lin Yibai: “No, no, no. I can take care of myself.”
Xia Changyu: “You sure?”
“Very sure. 200% sure. You can go back to your work, I’ll contact you later.”
He knew the girl he liked was hiding some secret, but everyone has their own secrets, and it wasn’t his place to dig into them. Maybe she just needed a break too?
Xia Changyu, “Alright then, I’ll be going now?”
Lin Yibai nodded, trying not to show too much relief. “Yeah. Thanks for dropping by.”
At the door, Xia Changyu hesitated a second before turning back. “Hey… if anything’s bothering you, you can tell me.”
“I know,” she said softly. “Thanks.”
Then the door clicked shut.
And Lin Yibai stood frozen in place for a long moment.
The apartment was quiet again. Too quiet. The soft hum of the fridge felt louder than it should have.
She walked to the drawer and slowly pulled it open.
Yup. Still there. The “thermos.”
She gently unwrapped bubble wrap like it was a sacred relic, and stared at the thermos in her hands. It was heavier than she expected. The outer design really did look like a thermos, but the inside…
Her hands were a little sweaty like she was defusing a bomb.
Only now did she dare to look at the "thermos" she had bought.
“Should I try it now?”
Naturally, she decided to search for educational materials first. Strictly for research purposes. She clicked through dozens of videos, some very much matched with her usual preferences.
After several hours of intense academic exploration…
…Nothing.
Not even a flicker of interest.
She didn’t even feel anything. No reaction. No excitement. Nothing.
“I—what?! But I used to like this stuff! It used to work! Why is my dragon asleep now?!”
“When I was in male form, my "dragon" was still active in the mornings. So, it should mean everything still works normally, right?”
So why was it acting like it was on vacation now?
“Maybe I’m just… used to my girl form now. Maybe I’m too familiar with it. Maybe I’ve seen myself naked so many times I’ve developed resistance.”
She squirmed on the bed.
“And those girls in the videos, let’s be real, they don’t even look better than me! Like, come on!”
Maybe her standards had gotten too high.
Or…
“Oh no. Oh no no no. What if… I don’t like girls anymore?!”
“What kind of identity crisis is this?!"
“Okay, okay, calm down. Maybe videos are just too fake now. Too scripted. Too… bleh. I’ll just use my imagination instead. Pure, unfiltered brain content. Let’s go.”
She closed her eyes and tried to think of something hot. Something that would make her heart race.
That little spark.
A memory.
A teasing laugh.
A stupid hand ruffling her hair like she was some kind of doll.
Xia Changyu’s voice echoed in her head, ‘If anything’s bothering you, you can tell me.’
Her eyes shot open. “…Oh no.”
Her face went red.
Her heart skipped a beat.
Her brain screamed.
No. NO. Anyone but him!
But the damage was done. Her mind had betrayed her. And worse… it was working.
“WHY HIM?! He’s my annoying rival! My pain in the ass!”
But there it was.
The truth hit her like a truck full of bricks.
A clear reaction. The dragon stirred.
It only worked… when she thought of him.
The stirrings, the flutter in her chest, it wasn’t random.
“Oh god… I’m gay.”
And the silence around her was deafening.
Not because the room was quiet. But because for the first time, she felt like she’d just uncovered a truth about herself she wasn’t ready for.
Just not yet.
“No no no no! This is just temporary. Just because I’ve seen him a lot lately! That’s it! Situational hormones! It’s science!”
“…This isn't romantic attraction. This is just a hormone imbalance, right? Maybe prolonged estrogen exposure is affecting me.”
Right? RIGHT?
She groaned into a pillow.
“…I need a therapist.”