Chapter 180: A Tone of Fear
Armand’s fingers slowly slid from behind Evelia’s ear, gently brushing past her cheek and the corner of her eye.
When he touched the corner of her slightly red eye and looked into her eyes, he saw the whites of her eyes lined with red veins.
“...I’m sorry,” Armand apologized and pulled his hand back, feeling guilty. As if, in this moment, no amount of care or tenderness could really help.
On his way here, he had run into Rachel, or rather Rachel had been waiting for him.
Honestly, Rachel was quite suited to being a spy or an informant. If Armand knew more of the truth, he’d probably think Rachel’s disguise skills were even better than Evelia’s.
“Stupid dad.”
That’s how Rachel had greeted him. Armand could only smile helplessly. In a way, she was right. Even now, he still didn’t know exactly why Evelia was so sad.
He had planned to rush over to Evelia without thinking much. Just like the rumors about him said, that he always acted without strategy and relied on instinct.
But then—
“You got caught not eating the tomato dishes Mom made.”
Rachel stood there, hands on hips, clearly standing up for Evelia.
“Ah—”
Armand couldn’t deny it. Rachel had said it directly, so there was no need for him to guess anymore.
He knew he felt guilty about that. He had been hiding it from Evelia for the sake of his poor stomach, but he hadn’t expected that this would become the thing that upset her so much.
“Well… that’s not too bad...” But strangely, Armand actually let out a small sigh of relief.
“What do you mean ‘not too bad’?! You really are a stupid dad! Just look at how Mom is right now!”
Since Rachel saw Evelia as her “mom,” Armand naturally counted as her “dad” in this imaginary family setup. And with no real father around, it was up to Rachel to scold this careless “dad.”
If it weren’t for the fact that she had to act like a little kid in front of others, she would have already given Armand a serious talking-to, for making Evelia so upset she almost “went back to her parents’ home.”
Unfortunately, since she had to play their “daughter,” she could only drop hints and scold him gently.
“I just mean, compared to other possibilities… this isn’t so bad.”
In other words, this was just a small fight between the two of them.
No matter how bad it seemed, this was still just a “private matter” between them. After all, considering their positions, if it had been something more serious, Armand wouldn’t just be coming to talk. He’d need to take bigger steps.
“......”
Even though Armand’s answer was vague, clever Rachel understood what he meant.
After all, she was practically the best-informed person here. She didn’t know much about Armand’s background, but she clearly knew what Evelia had been hiding. So of course, she knew that Armand was worried about Evelia’s true role, and whether her current mood had something to do with an order from the Second Prince.
Actually, Armand’s worry was not wrong.
Although Rachel didn’t know what Evelia had done that rainy night when she went out, she could clearly feel the change after she came back. Evelia had always been quiet, but after that night, she became even more withdrawn, like her spirit was just… off. Rachel couldn’t explain it, but she could tell Evelia had been feeling down ever since.
Could it be… the Second Prince ordered Evelia to kill Armand?
That wild guess of Armand’s actually made Rachel pause for a second. Not just Evelia, even Rachel, who had only recently joined them, had already been pulled into this little “family role-play.” She’d started thinking of this whole thing as just a domestic argument, and she had nearly forgotten…
That maybe, just maybe, Evelia’s “master” had given her a deadly mission.
Could it be that when Armand gets there… Evelia might just kill him?
Just thinking about that made Rachel break out in goosebumps all over.
After all, Evelia worked for the Second Prince. And the Second Prince was the kind of person who could do anything, and order anything. If part of Evelia’s sadness was because she received a kill order from him, then maybe Armand...
No, maybe not…
In just a few seconds of silence, Rachel’s thoughts were spinning fast.
She was wondering if Armand’s presence could change the place the Second Prince held in Evelia’s heart.
Even though Armand clearly wasn’t very experienced with romance, he was almost thirty and still got shy around women, he had definitely changed Evelia.
Just by looking at Evelia’s current state, that much was obvious.
If the Second Prince really had given a kill order, and this "Red Crow," who had always been completely loyal to him, was now hesitating or even feeling sad… that was proof enough of how much Armand meant to her.
Maybe Armand was truly the missing piece in Evelia’s heart, the one only he could fill.
Sigh... right, as the captain of the knights, he must have some charm or character. Rachel had really underestimated him.
“Alright then, seriously now.” After finishing that whirlwind of overthinking, Rachel let out a deep, thoughtful sigh.
If it had been anyone else, they probably couldn’t save Evelia the way Armand could.
Right now, he was basically like the prince from a fairytale on a white horse.
Oh right, didn’t he actually have a white horse?
“…I’m counting on you to take care of her,” Rachel said seriously, still standing with her hands on her hips, looking like a small but determined grown-up. If she had been in her adult form, it might have looked more convincing.
“Of course. Even if you didn’t say it, I was going to do it, little one.”
“You better mean that…”
Armand reached out and patted Rachel on the head. He seemed to be gentle with everyone, like he was born with a calming presence. Because of that, even Rachel, who was still mad on behalf of her “mom”, started to calm down a little.
After that, Rachel ran off, and just before she left, Armand noticed she had picked a piece of rose branch, roots and all, and her hands were still dirty with soil.
But Armand didn’t ask. He didn’t have time to ask.
He walked in the opposite direction and went to Evelia.
Back to the present, Armand was now sitting beside Evelia.
Even though he felt guilty and thought he shouldn’t just sit there so casually, since Evelia had patted the seat beside her, inviting him to sit, he didn’t say no and quietly sat down next to her.
“...I’m sorry.”
Armand’s guilty voice broke the silence again. He had his hands together and was nervously turning his thumbs. Somehow, this quiet moment made him feel tense.
“......”
Evelia said nothing. It wasn’t clear whether she didn’t want to talk, or if she was silently accepting his apology.
“It was me who let you down… I’m sorry.”
It almost sounded like a cheating boyfriend trying to apologize.
“As for those tomato-based dishes… I won’t try to defend myself. It was my fault. I was too selfish, I threw them away. No matter what punishment I get, I’ll accept it. I’m really sorry…”
“No… Armand, it’s me—”
Wasn’t I the one who was full of myself?
When Evelia heard those words, she couldn’t help but think of herself.
She thought their relationship meant something. She thought Armand really cared about her. She thought… she had his attention.
But in the end, it was all just her thinking so.
“It was all me…”
Of course Evelia was angry. Of course she was upset. When she threw Armand into the trash can, she even felt a little pleased.
But now that Armand was sincerely apologizing to her, Evelia realized… she wasn’t mad at him at all.
She was mad at herself.
She was angry at her own foolishness, angry that she couldn’t see things clearly.
“It’s all my fault, Mr. Armand. It’s me, it’s me… You didn’t do anything wrong. I just… thought I was more important than I really am.”
“...?”
Armand was surprised.
He thought Evelia would blame him, or at least that would’ve been normal.
He knew he was in the wrong. That’s why he came here, to say sorry. No matter what Evelia wanted to do, even if she needed to use him like a punching bag to let out her feelings, he would’ve accepted it.
Although, in truth, he probably underestimated Evelia’s strength. If she really had hit him, it would’ve hurt for quite a while.
But why?
Why, even though he was the one who made the mistake, was she the one acting like she was in the wrong?
Right now, Evelia was sinking deeper and deeper, into a kind of emotional swamp.
Even though she seemed like someone who had lost all feelings, some emotions still remained in her heart.
When did she start acting like this?
The answer was simple, because she was from the House of Nightingales.
She was one of the Second Prince’s most trusted followers.
So she had to be the most obedient one.
She gave everything to the Second Prince. Her heart was filled only with him. Her mind echoed only with his orders. She was the Red Crow.
But did anyone think she chose to be like this?
Did Evelia want to become this kind of person, or maybe not even a person anymore, but a tool, a dog?
Of course not.
All her loyalty was built on fear.
Now, when her feelings were shaken, beyond the sadness caused by the situation, her deepest, most hidden fear began to rise.
She didn’t want to be abandoned. She was afraid of being left behind. She didn’t want to be alone.
This… was Evelia. The one everyone had heard about, the famous “Red Crow.”
But the real her had always been the same, scared and timid. She had never really grown up. Even now, she was still that same child locked inside a cage.
“I’m sorry… Mr. Armand…”
Sadness, pain, anger, resentment. In the end, all of it became fear.
Everything I did… was so you would accept me.
Everything I have… is because you accepted me.
If I lose that kindness, I’ll have nothing again.
Please, don’t leave me.