Chapter 230: Grey Dove (1)
Evelia probably didn’t notice that Grey Dove had picked up on the subtle changes in her, or to be honest, even Evelia herself hadn’t realized that she was starting to change under the influence of the people around her.
Maybe it was because the change was happening so slowly and naturally that she couldn’t feel it, like a frog in warm water, unaware that it’s being boiled. But Grey Dove, who had always kept a fixed image of “Red Crow” in her mind, could clearly sense the difference in Evelia.
Besides, Evelia didn’t even look the same as before.
Just from appearance alone, Grey Dove already felt that today’s Red Crow was different from the one she remembered. And when you added in that subtle feeling… Grey Dove was sure, something had changed in her beloved Red Crow.
—This isn’t right.
Grey Dove stared intensely at Evelia’s back.
What she admired was the cold, ruthless Red Crow, the one who treated everyone with the same emotionless attitude.
If that part of her disappeared… could she still be called Red Crow?
—Something must have happened.
In her heart, Grey Dove still wanted to believe in her Red Crow. She told herself, it must be because something or someone was influencing her. That’s why she seems different now.
Grey Dove kept staring at Evelia’s back, her eyes full of burning, shadowy, tangled emotion. Evelia turned her head, catching Grey Dove’s look, and in that instant, Grey Dove quickly covered it up with a smile.
Rachel, sitting beside her, was startled.
But not because Evelia suddenly turned around. It was because Grey Dove had hidden her emotions so fast—too fast.
…She noticed it.
Rachel’s heart started pounding. She was sure of it now.
Grey Dove had noticed the change.
She had seen how Evelia was no longer quite the same and the change that everyone around her had been working so hard to make happen.
—So what now?
Rachel had no idea what Grey Dove would do next. But she had a very bad feeling about it.
Even though Grey Dove’s face was smiling brightly, Rachel felt that underneath it was a twisted ball of dark, messy emotions.
And just before she could drift off to sleep again, Rachel took back what she’d thought earlier. At the House of Nightingales, Evelia wasn’t the only one with a few screws loose.
Grey Dove’s feelings were wild and chaotic. Rachel couldn’t understand her obsession at all. Or maybe she just didn’t want to try. It was like trying to understand a crazy person’s mind, once you understand it, you might go crazy too.
Rachel had no interest in finding out what was going on in Grey Dove’s head.
And Evelia, even though she didn’t fully understand emotions, she could still sense that Grey Dove was hiding something.
She just stood there, quietly watching Grey Dove. Watching as her fake smile slowly started to crack.
“Is it a mission from His Highness?”
That was probably the “excuse” Grey Dove was holding onto.
Instead of believing her idol had truly changed, it was easier for her to believe this was just part of the Second Prince’s plan. That it was all just an act. Just a disguise.
“……”
Evelia still didn’t say anything. She didn’t answer, she only kept silently watching.
She couldn’t answer, because this really was part of the Second Prince’s mission.
The tasks the Second Prince gave her were never meant to be shared. Unless a mission required the help of someone special, Evelia would never tell anyone what she was really doing, nor what the Second Prince had ordered her to do.
“Lord Red Crow?”
But Grey Dove kept pushing. She just wanted an answer.
She had to know, why had her Lord Red Crow become like this?
Why did she now carry that “ordinary, human” feeling about her?
Why did that fake gentleness, something Grey Dove found disgusting, show up on someone she saw as a god?
A god should be pure and flawless. A god should never be touched by the dirty world of normal people.
Even though Grey Dove often acted intense, she never liked so-called “feelings.” She thought emotions were nothing but a burden, something completely unnecessary. Only by throwing away useless things like that could someone become truly strong. Only then could they survive in this chaotic world, and make it to the end.
—Useless emotions will only bring pain.
She had always told herself that.
Because she was the daughter of a woman who worked the streets. The daughter of a girl who had been tricked into the dark alleyways by a man.
She had watched women wearing heavy makeup speak sweet lies to all kinds of men. They made no effort to hide what they were doing, even in front of young Grey Dove. They said it was happiness, money, and the price of chasing their dreams.
Some of those women had been kidnapped. They were forced to be “entertainment” for old men. And they would talk openly to little Grey Dove about how awful their lives were, saying that when Grey Dove grew up, she would be thrown into a pile of men too, because she was born to be a prostitute.
Her own mother was like that.
She cursed the man who ruined her life, saying she had given her love to a dog. She said it was “love” that destroyed her.
She even cursed Grey Dove, cursed the child she never should have given birth to. She said Grey Dove’s very existence had ruined her life.
Some women cried.
Some laughed.
Some counted money.
Some got beaten.
They danced like mad in the clubs and moaned on the beds.
Grey Dove saw her mother, a woman who had once shouted curses at her past, willingly throw herself into that dirty life for money. She watched her drink and party, and mix with the very kind of people she used to hate the most.
Maybe from that moment on, Grey Dove’s world had already become twisted.
She saw women hesitate, saw them try to escape, only to become mistresses of rich men because they wanted money.
She saw them curse the men who left, and then flatter them again the moment they returned.
They told her, this is what human emotions are.
Messy.
Ugly.
Pathetic.
Nothing in her life belonged to her.
Her life was given by her mother. Her name was something the prostitutes came up with. Her future was something already decided by the world around her.
She was born with nothing.
She hated what her mother had become, but because she had nothing, she still wanted something.
Gold?
Food?
A house?
A friend?
She wanted a lot of things, and that desire built up inside her.
But every time she heard the word “desire,” she felt sick. Because her whole miserable life was caused by other people’s desire.
She tried to throw those things away, tried to give them up.
But deep down, she knew that no human could ever completely abandon their emotions. No one could really let go of what they wanted.
…So what did she really want?
That small child was already starting to go a little crazy.