Chapter 232: Return
On the other side, while Evelia was still staying with Grey Dove, the unaware Armand had already begun his journey.
Even though he really liked his own horse, Luna, for traveling at night he chose to borrow a black horse from the Knight Order, an older and steadier one. He also changed into black travel clothes more suitable for riding in the dark, and set out for the “old house.”
It really was an old place. There wasn’t even a proper road leading to it from the capital. Armand had to rely on memory, riding through the empty wild fields under the night sky.
“Cough…”
He had taken his medicine along the way, but it wasn’t fast-acting. The bitter, metallic taste in his throat just wouldn’t go away, making him cough from time to time. The cold wind rushing into his mouth while riding made it worse. He had to tug at his collar to cover part of his face just to ease the discomfort.
Everything was annoying. The bumpy mountain path, the freezing wind, and the sharp stabs of pain in his stomach from time to time.
Maybe he had seen too much blood earlier… but when he saw all that red, his mind suddenly thought of Evelia’s favorite thing, tomato sauce.
The more he tried not to think about it, the more his brain replayed it.
Maybe… maybe he should’ve tried tasting it. What if it wasn’t blood on that corpse at all? What if it was just tomato sauce?
What if this whole thing was just some kind of sick joke, and he was just out here taking a ride?
What a messed-up thought…
But if only that were true.
He still remembered how he once joked with the old butler, saying even if he didn’t kill Evelia himself, the Second Prince would eventually do it. Back then, he laughed, treating the drama at House of Nightingales like it was just a show.
But now… even his hands, holding the reins, were shaking.
When was the last time he felt like this?
When his father died in battle?
When his mother passed away from grief?
Or when he failed to save a friend?
Ugh—this is such a pain. Now he had to build another grave.
How strange. He was actually going to build a grave for his enemy.
Evelia’s death shouldn’t matter to him, right?
After all, with a spy gone, so many things no longer needed to be hidden.
Maybe now he could finally get a good night’s sleep. No more eating that stomach-wrecking tomato sauce. No more worrying if that girl with the cold face was in a bad mood again.
No more thinking about what kind of clothes to buy, what accessories to prepare, no more being forced to eat meals, no more hearing her constantly say “Mr. Armand,” no more getting those weird looks from her every day, no more getting sprayed with perfume every morning, no more having to listen to her chatter in the carriage to work, no more getting nagged by the old butler to treat her better, no more having Carle ask about their relationship progress, no more being used as inspiration for Anna’s and some writer’s romance novels—
Life would be a lot easier, right?
Because that’s how it used to be.
It had always been that way.
Aside from the usual mind games with the Second Prince, everything had always been calm and quiet.
He used to live alone, peacefully, with no one bothering him. No one to comfort. No little “dumb cat” to deal with.
…………………………
Right?
It’s been like this for years, hasn’t it?
For so many years, he managed just fine on his own. Didn’t he?
Even when the Crown Prince or Carle told him to hurry up and find a wife, to settle down, he turned them all down.
He truly believed that having someone else around was just a burden.
Now… that burden was gone.
So he should feel… happy, right?
Armand, you should be happy.
You can finally go back to being alone again. You can quietly wait to die in peace. Go live in some place no one knows about. Plant some flowers, and one winter, just quietly pass away. Wasn’t that always the plan? Didn’t you once think, “Wouldn’t that be a romantic way to die?”
Only Evelia’s appearance had changed the course of his life, and now, things were simply going back to how they used to be. That girl, who was a spy, didn’t matter much. He would also plan to send Rachel to a safer family once she grew up.
A family, huh— I never really thought about that kind of thing.
Someone like me... I’ve long been disconnected from what people call a “normal life.”
“Cough—!”
“—?!”
A loud horse neigh echoed in his ears as the black horse suddenly came to a stop. The sudden braking made the horse rear back, almost throwing Armand off the saddle.
Once they both managed to steady themselves, Armand patted the horse and looked ahead, realizing they were on the edge of a slope. If the horse hadn’t stopped in time, they would’ve gone tumbling down.
From this height, Armand alone might’ve only gotten hurt. But if he fell together with the horse, the weight would have been enough to crush him to death.
“Alright, alright. Good boy. Calm down.”
Armand tried to soothe the horse’s nerves. He could hear the rough breathing from its nostrils. Even though he said to “calm down,” neither of them could actually relax.
Armand’s own heart was still in knots, and the horse could sense the tight grip on the reins. This was no ordinary horse, it belonged to the Knight Order and knew Armand well. Besides the stable hands, Armand was the one who visited the stables the most. He always brought a bag full of carrots and fed each horse in turn. According to him, “Watching horses munch carrots is more entertaining than the Second Prince’s speeches.”
Animals could sense people’s emotions, horses too. So this one had long since bonded with Armand. Their relationship was solid, and now the horse could feel Armand’s urgency, trying its hardest to carry him to his destination.
Right now, everyone was anxious, even the horse.
To be honest, Armand really needed a break. Even just one hour of rest might help, he needed time to calm down. If not, his head would only get more and more confused. And with the poison in his body beginning to act up again, it might leave lasting damage this time.
But he didn’t want to stop.
It wasn’t just that he didn’t want to, his nerves were pulled so tight that he couldn’t even close his eyes. Only by finishing this task could he hope to get some peace.
“Let’s slow down a little.”
Still, he had to think about the horse’s well-being too. So he loosened his grip on the reins a bit.
“I should’ve killed him...”
Sitting on the horse, Armand mumbled to himself with his head down.
“If I’d just killed him back then, it would’ve all been over years ago!”
He looked up and took a deep breath, staring at the dim moonlight in the sky. The moon still glowed, but it was hidden behind clouds, leaving only a faint, grey light.
“Scassia... Scassia...”
He repeated that name over and over. He didn’t know how he should feel about that name anymore.
It was a name knights were proud of, but also a name others hated.
Back then, he really should’ve—
“—”
The black horse let out a soft snort, flicked its tail, and lifted its head.
“You’re rested up?”
The horse nodded.
“Then let’s go.”
“Cough—!”
Dragging his exhausted body, Armand once again galloped into the darkness with his horse.
If you can still run, then run faster.
One more time...
Go back to that place.