Chapter 252: Selfish Satisfaction
...My head hurts.
Getting a high fever in the middle of the night wasn’t anything unusual. When Armand woke up feeling uncomfortable, it was already late into the night.
Actually, instead of calling it “uncomfortable,” it felt more like something strange was going on.
...So heavy...?
It felt like something was pressing down on his chest, and his mouth and nose were blocked, making it kind of hard to breathe.
“Cough...”
There was something in his throat that made him cough lightly. His heavy eyelids slowly opened.
His vision was blurry, and everything around him was completely quiet. It was deep into the night, with only a few faint stars in the sky.
He tried to figure out what the dark shadow above him was. His hand was already about to reach for the dagger hidden under his mattress. But after a few seconds, he saw the face of a girl with long pink hair.
They were very close, Evelia had just barely lifted her head away from him, which was why he could breathe better now.
Those golden eyes stared down at him, still full of desire. Her cheeks were red, showing the deep human instinct written all over her face.
“...?”
Still dazed from the fever and the leftover effects of the medicine, Armand squinted in confusion, not fully understanding what was happening.
He stared, half-awake, at the "heavy thing" sitting on top of him. It was Evelia, sitting right on him. His fuzzy brain tried to make sense of what was going on.
‘Haaah... it must be because I thought about things I shouldn’t have before falling asleep.’
This weird situation must be part of a dream.
Armand sighed and lay back down, still groggy, thinking maybe he could just go back to sleep.
After all, what he saw in the bathroom earlier was really intense... and no matter how serious or disciplined he was, he was still a 26-year-old unmarried man. How could he not be affected by something like that?
Thinking that, he tiredly closed his eyes again, wondering how on earth he was supposed to face Evelia tomorrow.
But not long after he closed his eyes, before he fully fell asleep, that strange feeling came back again.
He felt like he couldn’t breathe, or maybe more accurately, like he was sharing his breath with someone.
After a moment, the feeling settled a bit, and he realized something was moving inside his mouth.
It felt odd… but not unpleasant. Even though there was something foreign in his mouth, he didn’t hate the sensation of it moving around.
Instinctively, he responded, gently biting down on the soft thing that was inside.
Evelia had always been acting out these "one-sided plays" while Armand slept, but this time, his sudden response surprised her.
She froze for a second. But soon, she leaned in and deepened her movements.
His small reaction brought Evelia a new kind of excitement. Even though Armand, still half-asleep, wasn’t being very assertive, he was just passively responding, it still felt much better than her usual efforts on her own.
...Haaah, seriously? Why is this dream still going? Is this part two of what I dreamed earlier?
Armand still thought it was just his imagination and even made a sarcastic comment to himself in his mind.
It was because he believed it was just a dream that he dared to respond.
After all… everyone has dreams like this sometimes.
Even if it might seem a bit embarrassing to act this way in a dream, Armand was still just a man. No matter how noble his status was, having fantasies like this was totally normal.
As he hesitated in this “dream” about whether or not to go further with Evelia, feeling a mix of guilt and shame, he didn’t know that the “Evelia in his dream” had already snuck into his bed and held him like this many, many nights before.
Compared to that, Armand was actually a bit too innocent.
But… since he thought this was just a dream, he wanted to be a little bolder.
After what happened in the bathroom, he'd been holding back all that desire. If this really was a dream, he wanted to take the chance to let it all out.
His kisses on Evelia became stronger and more intense, and little by little, he took control. Evelia tried to push back a little, wanting to keep some control herself, but Armand’s sudden counterattack made her weak. She slowly lost her strength and let go of resistance.
Armand held her waist tightly, and as his breathing grew heavier, his hands started to move in ways that weren’t exactly proper.
If this is just a dream… if this dream can give me what I want… then I can do whatever I like...
With that thought, Armand’s hands slipped under the edge of Evelia’s clothes as he hugged her.
At the same time, Evelia followed his lead. She reached out her delicate fingers and gently touched the skin under Armand’s robe.
Her soft skin on her belly met Armand’s rough palms. Maybe because of the many calluses on his hands, Evelia even felt a little scratchy pain.
But for Armand, it was the opposite. He enjoyed the feeling of her soft stomach and the touch of her fingers. He gave her waist a squeeze, and as his desire took over, his hands slowly moved upward, until—
“——”
—until he suddenly, truly opened his eyes and woke up.
“...Ah.”
He lay in bed, staring blankly at the sunlight coming in through a small gap in the curtain. After a few seconds, he sat up and glanced down at his hand, which looked like it was feeling... disappointed.
“...Ahhh...”
Then, frustrated, he ran that hand through his hair and muttered.
“...What kind of dream was that...?”
The more reckless he was in the dream, the more embarrassed he felt after waking up.
And since the dream had ended halfway through, Armand’s shame also came with a bit of regret. He hadn’t “finished” anything.
“…Am I really at that age now...? Geez—why do I sound like some gorilla desperate to get married...?”
He used to say that since he could die anytime, he definitely wouldn’t get married. But now, just because he hit a certain age, was he really starting to lose control?
I’m not supposed to be someone who dreams of a happy home life… Family? That’s way too far away for someone like me.
Spending the rest of his life with someone he loves. Just thinking about it made Armand, who had been trying to reject that idea a moment ago, suddenly pause.
He looked out the window with a hesitant expression. The gap in the curtain was small, and he could only see a thin beam of warm sunlight, but even that little bit of light was enough to brighten the room.
“Haaah…”
He let out a sigh and curled up a little, resting his arm over his neck.
He really wanted to live like a normal person...
He couldn't help but think that.
If he were just a regular person, maybe he could live that quiet, peaceful life like the ones in books.
But unfortunately, he had already chosen this path.
“…Forget it.”
There was no way to change the past, or the future, so Armand gave up on thinking about it.
He originally wanted to get out of bed and take a walk around the estate to get some fresh air. But when he lifted the blanket to look, he sighed again and pulled it back over himself.
…Might as well stay in bed a little longer.
What a terrible dream.