Chapter 337: All the Hatred Until Now
—He never told me his real name. He just casually said his name was “Aeg,” like he didn’t care. But I… I told him almost everything about myself.
Later, he also told me, never tell anyone your real name.
So, from that moment on, I became “Furst.”
He used to live right next door to me. He was a young man who always wore a black cloak. People said it was a gift from Her Highness the Second Queen. A sign that she trusted and valued him. Some people were jealous, others admired him, and some even gossiped and said awful things behind his back.
But he never cared. Or maybe… he didn’t need to care.
As he once explained to me, his way of thinking was like this: whether you respond or ignore them, even if you silence the rumors by force, those words will still fester in people’s hearts. So there’s no point in paying attention to them.
He seemed like someone who didn’t care about anything, didn’t care about what happened, didn’t care about anyone, except for the Second Queen.
It was like he was programmed, like a machine that only responded to her orders. Everything else, he ignored.
Back then, I don’t think I truly understood that feeling, that feeling of being completely powerless to resist.
People said he was like a monster. That even at such a young age, he could swing a greatsword and crush the spine of his enemies without hesitation. They said once he grew up, he’d become a madman, a killer.
I didn’t know what the future would be like… or maybe I just didn’t understand what “the future” even meant.
At that time, all I wanted was to survive in that place.
Even though he looked terrifying… but…
...he was the person closest to me.
Maybe because I wanted to survive so badly, I started trying to get closer to him.
To approach this young man who might be able to help me, even just a little.
And surprisingly, after a few silent reactions, he actually took the hand I reached out to him.
He still didn’t speak. He talked so little I didn’t even know what his voice sounded like. But from that close, I could finally see the face hidden under his hood.
Even now, I’ve long forgotten exactly what his face looked like. But I still remember how I was drawn to that young man’s handsome face back then. His hair was messy, and his face still had dried blood that hadn’t been wiped off. But even so, his face was really beautiful, almost like the statue of the Holy Son I once knelt and prayed to.
And those blue eyes… even though they had lost their shine, I can still remember the moment our eyes met.
It was compassion…
So from that moment on, in a way, he became the "angel" I had dreamed of as a child.
I tried my best to please him. I wanted to be his friend. I worked hard to survive in that place. I hoped he could be the one I could rely on in that hell.
Yes… I truly believed in him.
He was my hope.
At least, when he said to me, “I’ll take you out of here,” it felt like, for the first time in my life, I saw a light.
—But in the end, he became my despair… and turned me into who I am now.
He was my friend… my “angel”… my hatred—
And also the beginning of "Red Crow."
After that, I became who I am now.
An assassin. A dog.
………………………………………
“Mr. Armand.”
It was a voice that should’ve been very familiar, but because of the broken tone, it felt strangely chilling.
Evelia raised her head and looked at Armand. Her golden eyes were now covered in a deep shadow, darkened by the memories of the past.
“Eve?”
Armand looked at Evelia in confusion. He thought maybe talking about the House of Nightingales had triggered some painful memories for her.
But Evelia looked terrifying. Her face was cold and dark, like the face of a grim reaper. Even someone like Armand, a knight who had faced countless battles, couldn’t help but feel a chill in his heart.
Still, his instincts told him to try and comfort Evelia.
He could understand pain from the past. That’s exactly why he had been treating Evelia so gently.
He had gone through it before, so he hoped that he could take her away with him this time. Because she was his wife, the person he loved. So, he still wanted to—
“Eve— cough, huh?!”
But before he could even pull Evelia into his arms to comfort her, those cold hands had already reached up.
It wasn’t a warm hug. It was the freezing, choking grip around his neck. The hand that was supposed to be holding his... was now wrapped tightly around his throat.
This was the payback from many years ago.
The bad ending caused by breaking a promise ten years ago was now beginning.
Ever since being left behind, Evelia had often imagined this exact scene. She would find the person who betrayed her. She would find that lying jerk and return the pain she had suffered, ten times over.
“E...Eve?! Ugh...?!”
Armand cried out Evelia’s name in pain, but her hand only gripped tighter. She was still wearing that ring. The hard metal pressed against his throat, making it even harder to breathe. That suffocating feeling kept growing stronger.
Maybe Armand should fight back, maybe he was trying to fight back. He could probably break her fingers right now if he really wanted to.
But he didn’t. He only pulled hard on Evelia’s hand, just trying to get one more second of air.
“...Fur...”
That sound... that syllable…
It reminded her of the way he used to call her “Furst” back then. He almost never said people’s names. Usually it was just “Hey” or “You.” But “Furst”... that was the name he said more than any other.
Now, Armand was pinned against the bed, backed up to the wall. The sudden force made blood pour from both sides of his nose again. His hand that had just been cleaned was now stained bright red with fresh blood.
His face, already flushed from fever, was turning an even worse color from the lack of air. His voice was getting weaker and weaker, and his eyes lost their focus as they stared at Evelia. If he didn’t struggle with all his might, he really might get strangled to death by her.
—Move!
Evelia screamed in her heart, staring at Armand’s gritted teeth. Her eyes started to blur.
—Just like before, throw me off!
You did it ten years ago, you can do it again now!
Struggle! Fight back!
Even if we end up in a fight after this, I don’t care. Come on, fight me! Show me what kind of person you’ve become!
You... you—
“Cough—!! Haa—haa… cough, cough…!”
In the end, Evelia let go of him. She watched as Armand slid down helplessly by the bedside, gasping desperately for air. Blood from his nose was still coming out as he tried to breathe through his throat.
“You... you dirty coward...”
Evelia finally couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. With her blood-covered hand, she wiped her eyes.
“Mr. Armand... you're such a coward… You’re... you’re supposed to be my enemy...!”
She lifted her head and looked at Armand, who was holding his neck and looking back at her. She saw the pain on his face. The blood under his nose. The blue lips. And the mark on his neck left by the ring.
Armand looked so weak now. She wasn’t even sure if his tired eyes could still see her clearly.
He was supposed to be her enemy. The man she had chased for ten years. But now—
“…When you’re like this... how am I supposed to kill you...?!”
—She couldn’t do it.
She couldn’t kill the man in front of her like she had always planned.
As for the reason, it was probably a simple one. Just like what Armand said when he stood in front of her before...
—Because she still loved him.