Chapter 21: That Feeling
Is it really still just the same kind of relationship as before?
The night is already deep, but she still can’t sleep.
Everything around is very quiet. The summer night is dim, and the moonlight shines softly through the window, spreading a pale silver glow on the carpet.
Inside the room, besides Mu Le’s faint breathing, only the soft hum of the air conditioner breaks the silence.
In the darkness, she looks at her own hand. Her fingers look a little blurry, and her eyes are even more unclear than the moonlight.
Inside her chest, that feeling is still there, something she cannot explain.
Aren’t they just close friends?
But… why does something feel wrong?
“Maybe… I’m no longer the same person as before…”
On the bed, the girl curls up, her face showing helplessness and confusion.
At night, people often become more emotional for no reason. But tonight, it feels even stronger.
She had planned to watch a movie to get some inspiration, but now she has no ideas at all. She doesn’t even feel like writing a single word.
The warmth she felt in her hand and on her head still seems to remain. Every time she thinks about it, her face becomes hot for no reason.
What is happening to her?
Could it be… she has entered a heat period? Thinking about the basic biology knowledge she once looked up online, Mu Le’s lips twitched slightly.
But… why does it feel like she has started to like Xiao Yuze?
“That guy… clearly…”
Clearly… what?
Mu Le’s eyes widen, and her expression becomes very complicated in an instant.
Clearly very gentle? Or clearly very reliable?
He lets her act however she wants, lets her be a little childish, lets her order him around…
Without noticing it, she has already become so dependent on Xiao Yuze.
And all of it feels so natural.
But why? What right does she have?
Friend… or brother? Does that kind of relationship really need to go this far?
Scenes from the cinema suddenly replay in her mind, one after another, out of control…
All those attitudes and small actions, those are not what normal friends do. Those are things couples do, right?
“Could it be… he likes me? No way… I’m a guy… wait?”
That’s right. She is now a soft, cute girl.
Which means… it wouldn’t be strange if Xiao Yuze likes her now? But maybe because of the memories from before she changed, she still cannot confirm her own feelings, so…
“What kind of cliché romance story is this?! And what am I even thinking about?!”
Even though Mu Le complains, her thoughts only become more and more messy.
Maybe Xiao Yuze likes her? She cannot be sure.
But what about herself?
If that man really makes his feelings clear, would she be able to firmly reject him?
She doesn’t know… or maybe, she just doesn’t want to know.
Maybe the only person struggling with this is herself.
The only one trapped in this strange confusion…
But this is who she is now… a girl.
“Maybe this sudden change is actually helping me find what real happiness is? What are you really trying to say?”
Sleepiness slowly takes over. Just before falling asleep, Mu Le softly murmurs to herself.
At the same time, the person she has been thinking about so much… is also still awake.
On the other side of the wall, the man leans against the head of his bed. In the dim light, his expression is hard to see clearly.
Between his fingers, a half-burned cigarette still gives off small sparks.
Xiao Yuze doesn’t like smoking. Although he can drink alcohol well, he doesn’t really like drinking either.
Smoking leaves a smell, and since he has a slight dislike for dirt or mess, he usually avoids it.
So, lighting a cigarette in the middle of the night and just sitting there quietly, lost in thought… this is a first for him.
Even though it is already very late, he doesn’t feel sleepy at all.
After a long time, when the cigarette in his hand has burned out, he finally moves.
He throws the cigarette into the trash, then reaches out and picks up his phone, which is charging nearby.
He unlocks it easily and opens his contact list.
Looking at one of the numbers, he hesitates a little, but in the end, he presses call.
The phone rings… and keeps ringing for a while. Just when it is about to hang up automatically—
“Hello, bro… do you even know what time it is?! This is time to sleep!”
A very sleepy voice comes from the phone.
It sounds a bit annoyed, probably because the person was suddenly woken up from a nice dream.
Xiao Yuze’s expression doesn’t change, but his eyes lower slightly. “I think… I really like her.”
There is a short, strange silence on the other side. Then—
“Like her? Then go chase her! Why do you sound so sad like a loser? Don’t tell me she doesn’t like you?! If she doesn’t, then just force it. If you don’t even dare to try, how can you say you like her! I still have work tomorrow, I’m going back to sleep. Bye!!”
The other person speaks very fast, like a burst of words, then hangs up without waiting for Xiao Yuze to respond.
Xiao Yuze: “……”
Weren’t they supposed to be friends? What about emotional support? What about giving advice?
Well… that’s what you get from a bad friend.
Thinking about it, it was this guy who told him to take Mu Le to watch a movie.
But after the movie, Xiao Yuze only feels even more confused.
He… might really like Mu Le.
No, actually… haven’t his actions already shown everything?
Love at first sight? Xiao Yuze doesn’t believe in that.
Besides, even if it is real, their situation doesn’t seem like simple love at first sight.
And also… is it really love? He honestly doesn’t know.
But he can’t stop himself from wanting to treat her well.
Like when he saw that cake shop in the morning, his first thought was that Mu Le might like it, not anything else.
So even though he was about to be late for work, he still stood in line and spent a long time to buy it.
Even though his father scolded him, when he saw Mu Le eating happily at night, he couldn’t stop feeling satisfied.
When he took her to watch a movie, Mu Le watched very seriously, so she would never know…
Most of Xiao Yuze’s attention was actually on her.
And when she showed that hard-to-explain expression, he couldn’t help but hold her hand…
Isn’t it obvious?
What is love?
Love is wanting to hold you close, to go through time together, to laugh and argue, and grow old side by side.
Love is a subtle feeling, not controlled by anything.
It could start from a small, unexpected meeting, or from a simple moment when two people look at each other.
It cannot be caught, and it cannot be clearly explained. But because of that, it is something worth remembering and cherishing.
“Maybe… something is wrong with me?”
With a bitter smile, Xiao Yuze shakes his head and lets out a soft sigh. His eyes are full of complicated emotions, but slowly become firm.
If not getting her will only bring pain, then he should at least try, and see if he can make everyone happy.
Yes, this man has never believed in the idea of letting go “for her happiness.”
In this world, it is exactly because too many people think like that, that so many chances are missed.
If you do nothing at all, how can you know whether the happiness she wants… might actually be you?