Chapter 34: Loss and Cherishing
Su Moyu pushed the door open and walked into the room. She saw Bai Shuchuan’s father sitting at the desk, wearing glasses.
“Dad…” Su Moyu said softly. Her eyes moved to the lesson plan in his hand. He looked a bit tired, but he still gave her a gentle smile.
“Moyu, Shuchuan, sit down and listen to me,” Bai’s father said with a faint smile. Su Moyu walked over and sat on the bed, and Bai Shuchuan sat down as well.
Just hearing his gentle voice made Su Moyu suddenly feel a bit sad.
She couldn’t even tell that he was so seriously ill.
“You already know about my condition, right?” After they sat down, Bai’s father went back to writing his lesson plan.
“Mm,” Su Moyu replied softly. Bai Shuchuan just listened quietly.
Su Moyu secretly glanced at Bai Shuchuan, but didn’t see much expression on his face.
“Moyu, are you really happy living with Shuchuan?” Bai’s father asked gently, with a helpless smile.
Su Moyu blinked. Even though she had only been with Bai Shuchuan as his “wife” for less than two days, she still thought about it seriously.
“Yes, I’m very happy,” she answered with a smile.
Bai’s father nodded. “As long as you’re happy… I asked you to get married so early some time ago, and I was worried that your parents forced you. I was afraid you might not be willing.”
“How could that be, Dad?” Su Moyu said in a relaxed tone. Bai Shuchuan suddenly felt warmth in his hand. When he looked down, he saw Su Moyu placing her hand into his. “We’ve known each other for a long time.”
Bai’s father looked more at ease. “That’s true… maybe I was overthinking. I’ve watched you two grow up since you were little.”
“It feels like just yesterday you were kids playing at the door, and now you’ve grown up so much,” he said with emotion.
“Shuchuan, take good care of Moyu. And don’t feel guilty. After working hard for so many years, seeing you grow up safely is already enough for me,” he said, sighing softly, but still not turning to look at Bai Shuchuan.
“Okay,” Bai Shuchuan replied calmly. His eyes rested on his father. When he saw the gray hair at his temples, his gaze became unfocused again.
“Shuchuan may not be very good at taking care of people. Moyu, please understand him,” Bai’s father continued.
“Mm…” Su Moyu took a deep breath. “Shuchuan really cares about me, so don’t worry, Dad.”
“I’m not worried,” Bai’s father said. “Moyu, you really haven’t changed at all since you were young.”
Su Moyu didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded lightly. His words surprised her a little.
It seemed that the “girl version” of her was not very different from her real self. But this version of Bai Shuchuan was quite different from the one she knew.
Why was that?
She wondered silently.
“After finding out I had such a serious illness, I often think about the things I did in the past,” Bai’s father said, stopping his writing. “Many times, I treated Moyu like my own child, because you two were always together since you were young.”
“But in the end, your personalities turned out completely different,” he said softly.
“Shuchuan, sometimes I think that if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t treat you the same way as before.” Bai’s father showed a bit of regret and finally turned to look at him. “Maybe I wasn’t a good father. I always used my role as a father to demand too much from you and even criticize you.”
“Compared to your grades, maybe I should have cared more about whether you were happy, and paid more attention to your emotional needs…”
“But now that I understand this, it’s already too late, Bai Shuchuan.” He took a deep breath. His tone was still calm, but his eyes were already turning red.
“Just like what others said, boys become less direct in showing their love as they grow up.”
“So I don’t know if you ever held a grudge against me as your father, but you are my child, and I love you.” His voice started to tremble. Su Moyu felt Bai Shuchuan’s grip on her hand tighten. “I don’t have much time left with you. Take good care of yourself in the future.”
“It seems I won’t be able to hold my grandchildren.”
“When you talk about me to them in the future, just don’t make me sound too strict,” he added, trying to sound light and humorous again.
But those words touched the softest place in Su Moyu’s heart.
Yes, sometimes parents’ wishes are this simple. The continuation of the family line is something that truly makes people happy.
But the time left for Bai’s father was already very limited.
“Alright, that’s all I wanted to say. Go back and rest. Don’t worry about me,” he said with a smile again. To Su Moyu, that smile looked pale and forced.
“Thank you, Dad,” Bai Shuchuan said softly.
After this conversation, Su Moyu really felt sad.
Bai Shuchuan directly pulled her out of the room. She had thought he might say something emotional.
Even though she herself also had that stubborn “boy-like” pride and didn’t express feelings directly, the atmosphere just now was really touching. She was moved by it.
But expressing feelings directly was probably still too hard for Bai Shuchuan.
Especially to his parents. Even she felt that saying “I love you” to parents was too embarrassing.
Although sometimes, she really wanted to say it.
Su Moyu followed Bai Shuchuan back to his room and saw his mother making the bed.
“Mom, we can do it ourselves,” Su Moyu quickly said, noticing that Bai Shuchuan’s mood was not right and trying to gently send his mother away.
“Oh, okay,” his mother replied, putting down the blanket. “What do you want to eat tomorrow? I’ll get up early to buy groceries.”
“Maybe cook some chicken wings and cauliflower,” Su Moyu answered casually.
Illness had brought a heavy atmosphere to the family, but life still had to go on.
After Bai’s mother left the room, Bai Shuchuan sat down on the edge of the bed.
Su Moyu smiled softly and sat down beside him.
“What’s wrong? If you want to cry, then cry. Everyone feels sad sometimes. I won’t laugh at you,” she said gently, her voice soft and warm.
“Your dad already apologized to you. Even if you once held resentment or were unhappy with him, it should all be gone now.”
Bai Shuchuan didn’t speak. He just nodded quietly.
Su Moyu reached out and patted his head.
“While there’s still time, do more things together,” she continued, then held his hand. “People are always like this. Only after losing something do we learn to value it. When you lose something, you learn to care more about what you still have.”
“Like your mom and your sister.”
As soon as she finished speaking, she felt his arm wrap around her shoulders. Before she could react, she was pulled into his embrace.