Chapter 36: The Person I Cherish Most (Part 1)
Light rain was still falling outside. Su Moyu walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She took a disposable toothbrush from the drawer under the sink.
Her hair looked a bit messy. She reached up and ran her fingers through it, staring at herself in the mirror. A small ripple of emotion rose in her heart.
Right now, she really did look very beautiful.
Su Moyu blinked, and her expression quickly turned troubled again.
Forget it, forget it… she decided it was better to not think too much and just stay carefree.
Anyway, nothing would really happen. Some things could just be left to happen naturally.
After changing back into her pajamas, she felt the light fabric on her skin. Enduring the slight cold, she returned to the room, where Bai Shuchuan had already made the bed again.
Su Moyu lay down on the bed. The room was quiet. She picked up her phone to check if anyone had sent her messages, but aside from ads and short video notifications, there was nothing.
Sleepiness quickly came over her. She lazily yawned, then turned over and saw Bai Shuchuan leaning against the head of the bed, looking calm and distant.
“Go to sleep,” Su Moyu said softly.
“Okay,” Bai Shuchuan replied. He lay down beside her and reached out to turn off the light.
The room fell into darkness. Su Moyu’s thoughts drifted back to the feeling of being held in his arms earlier…
Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it.
She closed her eyes, turned over, and took a deep breath to calm herself.
“Good night,” she said softly.
“Good night,” Bai Shuchuan replied. His voice was low, gentle, and tired.
……………………
While sleeping, Su Moyu felt the bed move slightly. She slowly opened her eyes. The room was dim, but she could still see Bai Shuchuan’s blurry figure.
“Bai Shuchuan?” she called softly, her voice gentle and sleepy.
She rubbed her eyes and took her phone from under the pillow to check the time. It wasn’t even six yet.
“Why are you up so early…” she mumbled, yawning again as her head drooped.
“You sleep a bit more,” Bai Shuchuan said quietly.
Su Moyu nodded and lay back down to continue sleeping.
Bai Shuchuan quietly got dressed and left the room.
Su Moyu felt very sleepy, but the doubt in her heart made her get up from the bed. She quickly put on a jacket and walked out of the room.
Getting up this early usually meant something was wrong.
She hurried downstairs. Having just left the warm bed, she felt a bit cold, especially since it had rained the night before.
When she reached the second floor, she saw that Bai Shuchuan’s shoes were still by the mat. Only then did she realize he had gone up to the rooftop.
Could it be… was he thinking of doing something dangerous?
That thought suddenly flashed through her mind.
No way… that shouldn’t be it.
She couldn’t think of a reason why he would do that, but the uneasy feeling in her heart made her quicken her steps.
The stairs leading to the rooftop were wooden, with no railing on the side. She slowed down a little and finally reached the flat rooftop through the small attic.
The sky was still dim. Su Moyu saw Bai Shuchuan standing at the edge of the rooftop. The wind up there was strong, blowing her hair around so much that she could barely see clearly.
“Bai Shuchuan,” she called out. He turned around and looked surprised.
“Why aren’t you still sleeping?” he asked. His calm tone made Su Moyu, who had been hurrying, slow down.
“Why did you come up to the roof so early?” she complained.
It seemed she had overthought things. Bai Shuchuan might keep his feelings inside, but he wasn’t that pessimistic.
He smiled helplessly. “It just felt too dull staying in the room.”
The morning breeze gently moved his hair. As he looked at the girl in front of him, who was a head shorter than him, the heavy feeling in his heart slowly faded without him noticing.
“I thought you were thinking of doing something stupid, coming up here so early,” Su Moyu said, a bit annoyed, while pulling her clothes tighter around herself.
“Huh? I wouldn’t do that,” Bai Shuchuan replied helplessly.
“I was just overthinking!” she said, a little upset.
Bai Shuchuan blinked and looked at her expression. Her lips were slightly pouting, and her brows were lightly furrowed, as if she was thinking about something.
“Sorry for making you worry,” he said softly, with a hint of apology in his voice.
Su Moyu looked confused. “Why are you being so polite to me?”
“I… just suddenly feel that for people close to me, I should be more… thoughtful,” Bai Shuchuan said, as if he was thinking it through.
“Then why are you being so formal with me? Isn’t that tiring?” Su Moyu found his words a bit funny and smiled lightly.
“But… um, maybe it will make you feel better,” he said, looking a bit nervous and speaking awkwardly.
“Hmm… I guess that makes sense,” Su Moyu replied after thinking for a moment. “But it really doesn’t feel like you.”
“Is that so…”
“Actually, when my dad talked to me last night…” Bai Shuchuan looked toward the distant hills. The line between the sky and the earth was starting to glow with a soft orange light of dawn. “I really wanted to tell him I’m grateful. I wanted to say that I don’t hate him for what he did before, and…”
Su Moyu crossed her arms, looking like a caring older sister.
“And what?” she asked curiously.
Over the past two days, Bai Shuchuan seemed like a different person, and sometimes she couldn’t help but tease him.
He pressed his lips together, looking troubled.
“I just couldn’t say it,” he said helplessly.
“You actually love him a lot,” Su Moyu said softly.
“Yes… but I just can’t say it. And now my father doesn’t have much time left, and I still can’t say it. It’s like…”
Su Moyu smiled helplessly.
“I’m the same. I’m not good at expressing these feelings to my parents either,” she said softly. “Maybe it’s because it feels embarrassing, or maybe it’s also because we don’t like our parents sometimes.”
“Don’t like our parents…?” he repeated.
Su Moyu nodded. “We have things we like about our parents, but we also have things we don’t like. No one can completely like a person, not even themselves.”
“Maybe it’s because our parents have hurt us before, so we can’t express our feelings without any burden,” she said gently.
“It does take courage, and you need to make peace with yourself. But if you can’t do it, there’s no need to force yourself. Instead of worrying about it, it’s better to…”
She paused, then continued, “…do more things that can make your dad happy. Because deep down, you know better than anyone that your love for your father is stronger than any resentment. And he understands that too. That’s already enough.”