Chapter 46: A New Beginning

Su Moyu moved her body a little and tried to stretch her legs, but her knee suddenly touched something hard. Bai Shuchuan’s body clearly stiffened. Only then did Su Moyu finally realize something.

She was now a girl, and Bai Shuchuan was a young man full of energy.

She had actually thought before that Bai Shuchuan wasn’t interested in her, but thinking about it now… how could that be possible?

When she was still a boy, she also wouldn’t have been able to stay calm if a girl stayed this close to her.

Su Moyu swallowed. As she smelled his faint scent, a sudden thought flashed through her mind, making her cheeks burn.

After becoming like this, of course she had been curious before.

That kind of warm, slightly damp feeling…

Her soul felt like a restless beast, trying to break free from the body that held it. That intense, overwhelming feeling, her body reacting, her thoughts slowly being pulled apart, reaching deep into her instincts.

When she was younger, she had also secretly tasted this kind of forbidden experience before. But this time, it made her feel a strong sense of guilt. Maybe she still hadn’t accepted this body… this gender.

Unlike before, quick and shallow, this kind of feeling could be gentle and soft at times, and powerful like waves at others. It still affected her deeply.

“Bai Shuchuan…” Su Moyu called softly, her voice full of hesitation.

“What’s wrong?” Bai Shuchuan replied in a low voice.

Su Moyu held her hands in front of her chest, curling up in his arms. When she heard his voice, she suddenly returned to reality. The restless thoughts in her mind quickly sank back down.

“N-nothing,” she replied, a little uneasy.

Even though she was really curious about what that feeling was like.

But Bai Shuchuan was her best friend. Doing something like that between friends would be too strange.

She couldn’t help but think, maybe it was because the original owners of these bodies had already been physically close before.

The warmth of being held, and the relief in her heart, suddenly made such thoughts appear.

If they really did something that crossed the line, she wouldn’t know how to face Bai Shuchuan afterward.

And what would he think of her?

Thinking about this, Su Moyu felt herself finally calm down.

“Like this… will it make it hard for you to sleep?” she asked softly after thinking for a moment, still burying her face in his chest.

“It’s a little uncomfortable… because it’s my first time… having someone stick this close to me,” Bai Shuchuan answered.

Su Moyu took a deep breath. His chest was firm and gave her a strong sense of safety.

But thinking about it, staying this close in his arms like this, did it mean their relationship had already crossed a line?

After all, normal friends wouldn’t act like this.

If she were still a boy, she definitely wouldn’t do this. It made her feel like she was using her current identity as a girl to let herself act freely.

As for liking this kind of embrace…

When she looked through old chat records, she had seen that the Su Moyu of this world had said something like that to Bai Shuchuan before.

So her desire for him, and her dependence on this kind of physical closeness, was it really her own feelings?

Or was it influenced by this body that loved Bai Shuchuan?

The more she thought about it, the more confused she became.

She wondered if she should keep some distance from Bai Shuchuan now.

Su Moyu thought to herself that holding things in like this didn’t feel good at all. She knew that very well.

Right now, every bit of physical contact between them felt like adding fuel to a fire.

So she felt a little selfish and gently pulled herself out of his arms.

One of Bai Shuchuan’s hands was still resting lightly on her back. When she moved away, his fingers brushed across her soft back, making her shiver.

“Hm?” Bai Shuchuan made a small, confused sound.

“Maybe… you should go to the bathroom and deal with it,” Su Moyu said softly after a short silence. “Holding it in isn’t good for your body.”

Bai Shuchuan swallowed and suddenly felt a bit embarrassed.

“Sorry,” he said again.

“Why are you apologizing? This is normal,” Su Moyu said with a helpless smile. “I thought you weren’t interested in me. Looks like we should keep some distance in the future. After all, I’m a girl now.”

Bai Shuchuan could only nod. He got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, turning on the light.

Su Moyu took a deep breath. After leaving that warm embrace, her sleepiness also faded away.

There was still a bit of reluctance in her heart.

She felt like something was wrong with herself.

She suddenly remembered a few days ago, when they went out together, and she sat on his lap with only a towel wrapped around her…

If she were Bai Shuchuan, she thought, she probably wouldn’t have been able to hold back at all.

She swallowed and suddenly felt that Bai Shuchuan was actually quite self-controlled.

In the following nights, they continued to sleep separately. Su Moyu didn’t feel particularly uncomfortable about it. After all, their relationship had always been like this.

……………………

The National Day holiday passed quickly.

On the day they left, they took a high-speed train back.

Bai Shuchuan carried the suitcase and looked once more at his parents and his sister, Bai Xiaqing, who were standing at the door.

“Don’t worry,” his father said, noticing the concern on his face. “Take care of yourself. I’ll take care of myself.” As he spoke, he patted Bai Shuchuan on the shoulder.

Bai Shuchuan nodded. Looking at his father’s tired face, the words of farewell suddenly got stuck in his throat.

His father smiled helplessly. “Go on and check in. No need to worry about me.”

It was raining that day, and the train station platform was full of people.

Bai Shuchuan nodded. His eyes briefly caught the gray hair at his father’s temples, and his lips began to tremble.

He didn’t know what to say. The sadness in his heart made him turn away and face the crowd, not wanting his father to see him like this.

They boarded the train. Raindrops tapped against the window, and the sky was gray.

Su Moyu sat beside him. Bai Shuchuan quietly looked out the window as the train slowly started moving, leaving their hometown behind.

“Bai Shuchuan,” Su Moyu called softly.

He turned to look at her, and saw a small hand holding out a piece of chocolate to him.

He didn’t really like sweets.

But he still opened his mouth and took the chocolate.

A light sweetness, mixed with a cocoa flavor, slowly spread in his mouth. Su Moyu gave him a gentle smile.