Chapter 392: Birthday Gift
“Mr. Armand, good morning. Today is a new day, please take good care of yourself again today.”
“Mr. Armand, have you been eating well? Really? If you’ve been filling your stomach properly, that’s the best… Ketchup… hmm… if you don’t need it, then I won’t add any for now… Whatever you like, I’ll prepare it for you… But… do you really not like it? Ah—no, no, don’t mind me… um… really, you don’t like it?”
“Mr. Armand, look—the bottles can form a circle now… Hm? You’re asking what these are? Ah… these are the ‘tickets’ I paid to see you… It’s fine, they’re cheap. As long as I can see you, it’s worth anything! I’ll keep working hard… I’ll work hard so I can see you… If one day you suddenly can’t see me, don’t worry… I’ll work hard to find you… Please, you must wait for me, alright… I’m begging you.”
“…Mr. Armand… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I… this whole thing… it’s because of me… I’m the one who got my friends killed… I really liked everyone… but I was the one who killed them… You don’t blame me? Really? Really…? Really? Really…? Truly…? Will everyone… forgive me too?”
“Mr. Armand… um… Mr. Armand… I want to hug you… Ah—sorry, I fell over… I’m very sorry… It doesn’t hurt, it’s fine, Mr. Armand… I’m perfectly fine.”
“Mr. Armand… I like you… I really like you… I’ve always, always been happy to be your partner… Hmm? You like me too? That’s wonderful… I love you…”
“Mr. Armand… the sweet water tastes terrible, but I still came to see you… I can’t let go… I’m sorry, I really wanted to see you… Ugh… I’m sorry… forgive me… I lost control, but I just wanted to see you… I’ll drink all of these… Please don’t leave me… I’m sorry…”
“…Mr. Armand… I came to see you again… Ugh… sorry… my head’s a little dizzy… but if you’re here, Mr. Armand… it’s alright…”
“Mr. Armand…”
After returning from the funeral, Evelia seemed to have gone mad.
She accepted the bottles of hallucinogens White Dove left her, drinking one after another just so she could clearly see the man in her heart.
And just as she wished, she saw the Mr. Armand she longed for day and night.
She had so many things she wanted to say to him, and she wanted, like an ordinary girl, to hear countless words of comfort from her husband.
Because the drug was affecting her own mind, the “Armand” she saw told her exactly what she wanted to hear.
He told her he was fine and she didn’t need to worry.
He told her she could come to him anytime if she had a problem, and he would help her solve it.
He told her he had never blamed her, and that the smartest thing he had ever done in his life was marrying her.
He told her, over and over again, that he loved her.
The cycle repeated endlessly, with “Armand” saying things Evelia never got tired of hearing. And “Armand” only said those things, because Evelia only allowed him to say them.
“Mr. Armand, they’ve all left, so come out now and talk to me, alright? I kind of miss you.”
After White Dove once again closed the door to her room, Evelia opened her eyes and looked to her side.
The “Armand” she imagined was sitting right there beside her, wearing the familiar white knight order uniform she knew best.
“Mr. Armand… why aren’t you talking? Can you chat with me? I missed you… Mr. Armand… it’s only been a few days, but I missed you so much…”
Evelia slowly inched her body closer to the hallucination she had imagined. She opened her arms, wanting to hug her Mr. Armand, but instead fell forward heavily onto the ground.
After all, he wasn’t really there, so her hands could only pass through his image.
“…Mr. Armand… are you alright…? It feels a little cold today… Did you put on more clothes?”
But Evelia didn’t seem to care about falling. She wiped her smudged nose and sat back up again.
[I’m fine.]
After a long wait, the “Armand” in her vision finally responded. He leaned a little closer to her, as if trying to share with her the warmth he didn’t actually have.
[But you don’t look very well.]
“No, it’s fine… Mr. Armand, I’m alright. Look, look at my smile, I’m fine. I’m happy just to see you.”
Like someone mad, Evelia used her fingers to pull up the corners of her mouth, showing “Armand” an exaggerated smile.
“Oh, right… Mr. Armand, I also prepared this… this… gift for you. Sorry… I was too excited earlier and forgot to give it to you… Mr. Armand.”
Although White Dove had locked Evelia in here, it was all just a little mental and psychological experiment for him.
The chains, though heavy, weren’t secure. If she had the right tools, she could easily break them. Even her alchemy imprint was left untouched. He simply kept her confined here and amused himself by watching her waste away, sink deeper, and fall into the abyss on her own.
Click.
Evelia took a small box from her imprint. A beautifully wrapped pink-and-white box that stood in stark contrast to her dirty, ragged appearance.
Clack.
She opened the latch on the box and took out a pocket watch she had carefully prepared.
After Rachel had finished making the “little mechanism” for it, she had returned the pocket watch to Evelia early, even including a birthday message written by the old butler on her behalf, so Evelia could use it when the time came.
Click.
Evelia twisted the small mechanism on the pocket watch. Normally, it was for opening the cover, but if pressed again with a bit of force, the hidden “mini alchemy imprint” inside would pop something out.
The first thing that flew out was the little slip of paper with the birthday greeting they had prepared. Evelia rubbed the dirt from her fingers, picked up the white note, and read it aloud word by word to Armand’s phantom.
“Um… today is… the birthday of my beloved, Mr. Armand. I’m very happy that I can celebrate such an important day as your fiancée… Thank you for adding warm sunshine and real color to my life. In the days to come… I will keep loving you just as I always have. From now on… every year on this day… I will spend it with you…”
Evelia finished the birthday message in a slightly nervous and stumbling tone, then gently picked up the pocket watch’s chain.
For some nobles, a pocket watch wasn’t always worn around the neck like a necklace, but clumsy Evelia didn’t know much about such customs. And since Armand wasn’t a noble either, there was no such formality.
So she simply held up the chain, raising her hand to place this birthday gift around his neck as a blessing.
Clink.
But when she let go, the pocket watch she had lifted fell helplessly to the ground.
Flustered, Evelia kept saying “I’m sorry” as she picked it up again, repeating the same motion, only for the pocket watch to “accidentally” fall to the ground once more.
“I’m sorry…”
Clink.
“I’m sorry… Mr. Armand…”
Clink.
“It’s all my fault… I’m sorry…”
Clink.
She repeated the same motion countless times, apologizing each time. No one could tell whether she was apologizing for this little accident, or trying to atone to the Armand who wasn’t here for all of her mistakes.
Clink.
Of course, how could she possibly put it on him?
Evelia looked like a madwoman, but she wasn’t completely insane, she was a clear-headed madwoman. She knew exactly what she was doing, yet willingly sank deeper.
She indulged in the hallucinations from the drugs, yet she still knew full well that this was nothing more than her own imagination.
The person in front of her wasn’t the real Armand, nor was he some strange soul that could replace him. The one she saw was, in a way, “herself.”
Because this “Armand” was crafted from her own memories and thoughts, like someone playing chess alone, she kept thinking of what she wanted to say, while imagining, If it were Mr. Armand, how would he respond?
She was simulating Armand’s personality, abandoning her hopeless self, and becoming the man she admired. The “him” she faced was nothing more than her clumsy acting.
Clink… click.
When the pocket watch hit the ground again, the little mechanism inside was triggered once more.
Originally, Rachel had designed that hidden compartment thinking. An engagement is an engagement, a wedding is a wedding. Later, when the pocket watch truly belonged to Armand, he could hide the real wedding ring inside to surprise Evelia.
Back then, Evelia had also used the compartment to hide the form Armand had once given her.
And so, this time, what popped out was that personal information sheet, the one that could give her a “new life.”
At the time, she had thought: on Armand’s birthday, she would give herself to him.
She imagined that she would take out this form and tell Armand that no matter where he went, she would follow. All he had to do was tell her, and she would write that destination down for the future.
Now, that half-empty form lay before her once again.
“Mr. Armand… Mr. Armand… I’m sorry…”
No one knew how much time had passed, but this was the first time Evelia cried in this small room.
Until now, she had been using the hallucinogens to enjoy a “happiness” she knew was false, yet never wanted to break.
But this time, realizing the truth all over again, she broke down in tears.
“…The person… I want to become…”
Evelia lay on the floor, staring at the form scattered on the ground. Through her sobs, she bit her finger until it bled.
With her own blood, she wrote again and again the words describing the “person she wanted to become.”
“I want… to become Mr. Armand’s wife…”
Blood soaked into the paper, blurring the letters. Holding the red-stained form, Evelia knelt and collapsed forward, crying so hard she could barely breathe.
The false “Armand” with eyes full of concern became her last comfort. She saw him move in her direction. But in the end, he could never give her a real embrace.