Chapter 393: A Clear Dream
It was as if White Dove had noticed Evelia’s breakdown. After that, he gave her even more hallucinogens.
Bottle after bottle was placed before her swollen, tear-streaked eyes, forcing her to see her own reflection in the glass. Messy, filthy, looking like some abandoned beggar on the street.
Her cheeks had grown thinner, her lips were pale and cracked, her pink hair was tangled into knots, and her eyes were dull and lifeless. Aside from the redness and swelling, heavy black circles hung beneath them.
“……”
“…Ah…”
“A me like this… how could I possibly be worthy of Mr. Armand…”
She muttered softly, using her fingers like a wooden comb to try and smooth her hair.
“If I want to be worthy of Mr. Armand, I have to shine too…”
As she said this, she staggered to pick up two bottles of hallucinogens. She drank one down, and poured the other directly over her head.
“…I have to… make Mr. Armand happy… so I need to be clean…”
…………………………………
Today, as always, Blue Sparrow came to Evelia’s side. She stood before her, noticing that the bottles on the floor had increased again.
Evelia was lying on the cold cement floor. Her thin clothes made her curl up into a tight ball, still clutching the pocket watch she had meant to give to Armand.
If it weren’t for the rise and fall of her chest, Blue Sparrow might have thought she was already dead.
The more bottles piled up, the worse Evelia’s condition became.
She no longer wanted to have those “clear dreams,” so she simply drank all the hallucinogens she was given. She knew the dangers, but what she wanted was that feeling of drifting between dream and reality, unable to tell the difference.
She lay quietly on the floor, her expression peaceful, sometimes shifting slightly to the side—
as if trying to snuggle into someone’s arms.
“Red Crow.”
Blue Sparrow tried calling her, but as in the previous times, there was no response.
Evelia had already blocked out the name “Red Crow” in her mind. To her, she was only Evelia Croyelle, the wife of Armand.
“Mm… Mr. Armand… come a little closer… it’s cold… let me hold you…”
Her voice was slurred and hazy, her hands groping aimlessly. But in the end, they always fell weakly to the ground. She had repeated this motion countless times, her wrists swollen from the constant rubbing against the shackles, yet she seemed completely unaware of it.
“……”
Blue Sparrow hesitated, then stepped closer and bent down, intending to take the pocket watch from Evelia’s hand.
But that action seemed to trigger an alarm, Evelia sprang upright like a spring.
“Where did this thief come from?”
She frowned, waving her hand behind her as if telling the Armand in her hallucination to stay back.
“You actually got past the manor’s guards… What are you here for? To hurt my husband? Don’t even dream about it, I will protect him.”
Evelia stood in front of the nonexistent figure, gripping an empty hallucinogen bottle like a weapon, glaring at Blue Sparrow with fierce eyes.
After all this time, Blue Sparrow finally saw Evelia show an expression other than that stiff, empty smile.
“…No, Red Crow, this isn’t your manor.”
“Shut up!”
With a sharp crack, Evelia threw the bottle. The empty glass smashed in the corner, making a clear, piercing sound.
“Mr. Armand is right here… everyone’s here… and Rachel too… In a while, I’m going with Mr. Armand to see Rachel… We sent her to school, she should be done with classes soon. And then… then we’ll go to the back garden to see the flowers, the blue roses are all blooming… The old butler also bought new ketchup… Tonight, I’ll be making dinner for Mr. Armand… His illness is cured now, so we can eat whatever we want, go anywhere we want…”
As she spoke, Evelia gestured with her hands, as if helping someone invisible put on a coat.
“Mr. Armand is right here, look, he’s right here.”
She pointed to her left side behind her, but there was nothing there except countless empty bottles.
“Because Mr. Armand is here, this is my home.”
Sitting on the floor, the fierceness on her face softened into that vacant sort of happiness she often showed. She reached out her hand to stroke “Armand’s” cheek.
“Mr. Armand… let’s take Rachel out for a walk later… Didn’t you say before that Mr. Carle was bringing his wife and daughter over to visit us? Anna has already made new clothes to welcome them. Mr. Clund’s novel is also finished, he even prepared a special signed copy for the maids at our manor. They’ll be so happy…”
Evelia murmured about the most ordinary little things, describing a life of quiet, simple peace. Her face was full of happiness, yet somewhere in it was a sadness too faint to pin down.
That expression did not escape Blue Sparrow’s eyes. And because of that, she decided Evelia was not yet completely “beyond saving.”
There always had to be someone to break the false peace, and as the “big sister” who led everyone, that was her duty. She really couldn’t bear to watch this any longer.
This rotten excuse for a home, she couldn’t stand to see it.
“Red Crow.”
“…Mr. Armand, it’s still a bit cold outside, be sure to keep warm—”
“…Evelia.”
When she saw Evelia refusing to respond, Blue Sparrow could only call her by her real name.
“Ah…”
This time, Evelia lifted her head and looked at Blue Sparrow again.
“You thief, why haven’t you left yet?”
She frowned at her, then glanced at the “Armand” beside her and blinked.
“Fine… Do you need something? After all, Mr. Armand is a knight… If it’s part of his duty, we’ll help you.”
“……”
Those words made Blue Sparrow’s heart tighten. Seeing this broken Evelia actually looking concerned for her, a “normal” person, made her hesitate, almost unwilling to shatter Evelia’s dream.
But…
No, she couldn’t let this continue.
In the House of Nightingales, Grey Dove was already dead, Cyan Hawk had his own ambitions, and White Dove was an unreasonable lunatic. The only part of the “family” Blue Sparrow still clung to was Red Crow, Evelia.
“Evelia, those are all fake.”
She could only say it, say the cruel truth.
“They’re already gone.”
“What are you talking about?” Evelia looked at her in disbelief, then pointed beside her again. “Mr. Armand is right here, can’t you see him? You’re such a strange person, why are you suddenly saying such strange things—”
“Wake up!”
Blue Sparrow shouted, and Evelia flinched at the sound, instinctively leaning closer to “Armand.”
“They’re all gone! But you’re still alive. You need to be clear-headed…!”
Blue Sparrow knew her words were cruel, and she knew it was asking too much for Evelia to suddenly be strong. But all she wanted was for Evelia to stand back up again.
“Armand Systalia, he’s already dead!”
“—Shut up!!!”
Clatter.
This time, Evelia’s voice was louder than Blue Sparrow’s, drowning her out completely. She suddenly lunged forward, as if trying to strangle this “nonsense-spouting” Blue Sparrow. But the chain fixed into the wall stopped her short, her hand falling just a bit short of the Blue Sparrow who had kept a safe distance.
“Shut up! Shut up!!! What kind of garbage are you spouting? Mr. Armand isn’t, he’s not dead!! He’s right here next to me! Everyone is here next to me! They like being here! They like being my friends, they like being with me!!! And I want to be with them forever and ever!!!”
As Evelia roared, she pulled forward so hard that the chain on the wall shifted slightly. Her outstretched fingers managed to scratch Blue Sparrow’s neck, leaving a mark.
“They’re gone. Wake up, Red Crow.”
“I’m not Red Crow! I’m Evelia! I’m Mr. Armand’s lover! I’m not that damned Red Crow!!!”
She kept repeating her identity, then turned to look at the “Armand” behind her.
“Mr. Armand, tell her… tell her you’re fine. Tell her I’m not Red Crow, I’m your wife… We’re still going to have our wedding, we’re going to travel to other towns, we’re going to live together, we’re going to have children of our own… Mr. Armand… tell her…”
Blue Sparrow’s words hadn’t been completely filtered out. Even though Evelia was still in her “clear dream,” even if she didn’t want to be, her consciousness remained awake.
Because… that was “Armand.”
He wasn’t someone who would let Evelia willingly sink just because he was an illusion. Even though this was a personality she had imagined, he still spoke and acted according to Armand’s real nature.
In this situation, what would Armand do?
Would he keep playing along with Evelia’s lie, letting her live forever in a meaningless illusion? Would he help her keep acting out this picture-perfect fantasy?
No, obviously not.
The reason Evelia was still partly awake was because this “Armand” rarely went along with her. Even as a product of her own mind, he was still the man who wanted to entrust everything to her, the man who loved her.
Just like now, when Evelia asked him for an answer, this “Armand” became the last bit of reason in her heart.
He had always pointed her toward the right path, and this time was no different.
“Armand” looked at Evelia, smiling gently, but also shaking his head. He was always like that, soft, but tinged with helplessness.
“No… Mr. Armand…”
She looked at his familiar expression, pleading with him.
“Don’t say that… Mr. Armand… please… don’t say that…”
He was the person she wanted to keep the most, but also the reality she least wanted to face.
[You need to wake up, Eve.]
Those were Armand’s words, or perhaps the last bit of her rational mind, borrowing Armand’s voice to beg her for help.