Chapter 24: How Do I Look Like an Older Sister?
There were only three days left until the Chinese New Year.
That morning, Lin Wan got up early.
After washing up, he hid behind the curtains on the second floor and secretly watched the yard.
The Lin family's yard was especially lively today.
A large crowd of people had come, along with several dogs and two cats.
The reason was simple.
Today was pig-slaughtering day for the New Year, so many relatives and neighbors had come to help.
Lin Wan had completely forgotten how to address some of the uncles and aunties, so he simply stayed out of sight.
In the countryside, if you trace family generations far enough, almost everyone is somehow related.
For young people, remembering everyone's proper family title is really difficult.
The pig was slaughtered without any problems.
The cats and dogs gathered around the table where the meat was being cut, hoping a piece of meat would fall onto the ground.
The only trouble came when they tried to catch one of the chickens.
It ran incredibly fast, flapping its wings and jumping around.
Several people chased it from every direction for quite a while.
In the end, the chicken accidentally stuck its head into an old broken basketball. Unable to tell which way to run, it was finally caught.
While plucking its feathers, everyone laughed and praised the chicken.
"No wonder it could run so fast, it was really fat!"
Lin Wan was too far away to hear clearly. He could only vaguely make out someone saying something that sounded like, "Chicken, you're so beautiful."
He watched until every feather had been removed, then returned to his bedroom, planning to take another nap.
"Spirit!"
"I'm here~"
"It's been so long. I've missed you so much. I'd like to admire your majestic figure."
"Of course~"
The Spirit was delighted by the compliment. She immediately appeared in front of Lin Wan, standing proudly with her chest out and tail held high.
Seeing that his plan had worked, Lin Wan quickly picked up the Spirit, climbed into bed, and happily petted her while taking a nap.
He had to admit...
The Spirit felt amazingly soft and smooth.
You could pet her anytime, anywhere, and she didn't even shed any fur.
How could anyone argue with that?
He gave that a huge thumbs-up.
Before long, thanks to Lin Wan's excellent petting skills, the Spirit was purring nonstop.
She was so comfortable that her whole body went limp in his arms.
Listening to the soft purring like white noise, Lin Wan slowly drifted off to sleep.
In his dream, his illness had been completely cured.
He had also found his partner.
The two of them held hands and walked into their wedding ceremony.
Just as he was about to put the wedding ring on the other person's finger, the other person suddenly knelt down first.
Lin Wan was completely confused.
In the dream he shouted, "Wait! That's not right! I'm not the bride! I should be the one putting the ring on you!"
But for some reason, he couldn't move at all.
He could only watch helplessly as the ring slowly slipped onto his own ring finger.
Then the other person slowly looked up.
He couldn't see the person's face clearly.
It only felt strangely familiar.
Holding his hand happily, the person said affectionately,
"We're finally husband and husband now, Xiao Wan!"
The scene suddenly changed.
The two of them were escorted into the bridal room.
The other person buried their face against Lin Wan's chest and kept calling his name.
"Xiao Wan!"
"Xiao Wan!"
"Xiao Wan!"
…………………
Just as the pressure on his chest became so heavy that he could hardly breathe, Lin Wan finally broke free and suddenly opened his eyes.
His forehead was covered in sweat.
Goodness...
That was terrifying.
Even though it should have been a sweet and romantic dream, it filled him with fear.
The feeling of being unable to move, like a puppet controlled by someone else, was unbelievably unpleasant.
He wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.
Still feeling a weight on his chest, he lifted the blanket.
There was the Spirit, curled into a little ball and sleeping soundly right on top of him.
No wonder he had a nightmare about being crushed.
So you were part of the reason!
He grabbed the Spirit by both back legs, swung her in a big circle, and shouted,
"Off you go!!"
Halfway through the air, the Spirit opened her eyes.
Realizing she was flying, she looked completely confused.
"Meow?"
She quickly floated upright in midair.
Seeing the chance, Lin Wan immediately pulled her back into his arms and gently comforted her.
"It's okay. Don't be scared. You just had a bad dream."
Spirit: ???
"Xiao Wan!"
The voice sounded again.
Lin Wan shivered.
Am I still dreaming? A dream inside another dream?!
Then the bedroom door opened.
A middle-aged woman with a weathered face and an apron walked in.
"Xiao Wan! I've called you several times already! Lunch is ready! Hurry up!"
After seeing who it was, Lin Wan patted his chest.
"Mom, you scared me!"
"Come downstairs. The food is already on the table!"
After saying that, his mother turned around and went downstairs. Lin Wan quickly tidied himself up and hurried downstairs.
So his nightmare wasn't just because of the Spirit, his mom deserved part of the blame too.
At noon, two tables were set up in the yard.
One table was for people drinking alcohol.
The other was for those who weren't.
Naturally, Lin Wan sat at the table without alcohol.
Surrounded by uncles, aunts, and all kinds of older relatives watching him, he quietly sat in his seat, staring at the table while waiting for all the dishes to be served.
"Xiao Wan looks much healthier now!"
"That's right! Going to college really changed him. He's become much better-looking!"
"Haha, that's true! When it's time for him to get married, we'll come help carry the pig again!"
"Xiao Wan won't dislike us by then, will he?"
………………
Here it comes...
Finally.
Lin Wan completely ignored the teasing from the adults and sat as still as a statue.
Most people had probably experienced this kind of embarrassing family gathering. Whenever relatives got together for a meal, somehow the conversation always turned to you.
How many times you wet the bed as a child...
How many times you fell down...
Every embarrassing thing you had ever done...
The adults would happily bring it all up at the dinner table.
And there was nothing you could say to defend yourself. All you could do was lower your head and eat as fast as possible, hoping to leave the table early.
Once all the dishes were served, the table was filled almost entirely with meat because of the pig slaughter.
Lin Wan's appetite immediately grew, and he began eating at lightning speed.
"Big sister, could you help me pick up a piece of pork rib? Thank you."
Just as Lin Wan was happily eating, a little girl beside him gently tugged on the corner of his shirt with her tiny hand.
Hearing her, he turned around.
Behind him stood a little girl with two braided pigtails. She was holding a metal bowl almost as big as her face.
Her cheeks were chubby, her round eyes were bright, and she looked absolutely adorable.
The little girl stared at him without blinking. Her bright, sparkling eyes were full of hope.
Lin Wan picked up a piece of pork rib with his chopsticks and held it above her bowl.
"Call me big brother."
"Big sister!" the little girl answered sweetly.
"Big brother."
"Big sister."
"Big brother."
"Big sister."
There was nothing he could do.
She was just a little kid. She was still young enough to wear diapers, so he couldn't expect her to tell the difference between boys and girls.
He slowly lowered the rib toward her bowl.
But the moment it touched the bottom of the bowl, he quickly picked it back up, put it into his own mouth, took two bites, and said,
"Mmm... so tasty!"
The little girl didn't cry.
Instead, her eyes rolled around for a moment before she sweetly said, "Big brother!"
"That's better."
Lin Wan smiled, picked up another rib, and placed it into her bowl. Then he gently pinched her chubby little cheek.
The little girl happily skipped back a couple of steps, wearing a victorious smile.
"Thank you, big sister!"
Lin Wan's face immediately darkened.
He had actually been tricked by a little kid!
Everyone at his table burst into laughter.
"Wan, I'm so sorry!"
One of the older uncles from the drinking table walked over. He hadn't heard their conversation clearly and thought his granddaughter had bothered Lin Wan, so he hurried over to apologize.
"It's okay, really."
Lin Wan waved his hand.
"Nannan, come back and eat with Grandpa, okay?"
The uncle took the little girl's hand and led her back.
That was embarrassing...
Lin Wan immediately sped up his eating.
After finishing at lightning speed, he hurried upstairs.
When he reached the bathroom on the second floor, he stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself.
How do I look like an older sister?
I'm obviously a handsome young guy!
His face was fair and smooth.
His eyes were big and full of life.
His cheeks had a light pink color.
Because he had just finished eating, his lips looked especially red, making the little heart-shaped curve of his upper lip look even fuller.
After staring at himself for a while, his face suddenly turned red.
No, I can't keep looking.
If I keep staring, I'm going to fall in love with myself.
I'm just too handsome!
He walked out of the bathroom, doing his best to think of himself as looking cool and masculine.
Also...
He absolutely had to take good care of the few tiny beard hairs on his upper lip.
Otherwise, people might mistake him for a girl again!
Back in his bedroom, before he could message his good buddy to start boosting accounts, his mother came upstairs holding the little girl by the hand.
He suddenly had a very bad feeling.
"Xiao Wan, Uncle Zhao's granddaughter keeps insisting on seeing you. Watch her for a while."
Without giving him any chance to refuse, his mother left the little girl with him and went back downstairs to continue eating.
Lin Wan's mouth twitched.
Who am I?
What am I supposed to do?
How do you even take care of a little kid?
Completely confused, he could only stare at the little girl.
She stared back.
After a few seconds, the little girl giggled, ran over on her short little legs, hugged his leg, and sweetly called out, "Big sister."
"It's big brother."
"Big sister."
"Big brother."
"Big sister."
……………
After fifty rounds, Lin Wan admitted defeat.
Are all little kids this stubborn?
Do they never think about other people's feelings?
Little kid: My understanding of the world isn't fully developed yet. How am I supposed to think about other people's feelings?
Lin Wan: Oh... fair enough.
"Big sister, I want to watch the little ladies."
The little girl made her request with an innocent face.
Lin Wan blinked.
"Huh?"
Kids these days might grow up fast...
But wasn't it a bit much for a toddler still wearing diapers to ask to watch "little ladies"?
And she was a girl herself!
That made it even stranger!
Seeing that Lin Wan wasn't responding, the little girl tugged on his leg with her tiny hand.
"Big sister, can we watch the little ladies?"
With no better idea, Lin Wan searched for a few videos of pretty girls dancing and played them for her.
He watched with great interest.
The little girl looked completely bored.
"No, not that."
"It's the 'Little Ladies, the Great King is Coming' one."
"Huh?"
Wait...
Kid...
What exactly have you been watching before?
Are kids born after 2020 really this wild nowadays?!
Lin Wan felt like his whole worldview had been shaken.
His mouth stayed open in shock.
"The one that says, 'Little ladies, the Great King will definitely come back!'"
Seeing that this "big sister" just stood there with her mouth open, the little girl kindly gave him another hint.
"Hmm?"
Lin Wan frowned.
Something didn't seem right.
That sentence...
Why did it sound so familiar?
Suddenly, inspiration struck. He looked at the little girl.
"Does it have a sheep named Pleasant Goat in it?"
"Mm-hmm!"
The little girl nodded.
"Phew..."
Lin Wan let out a long sigh of relief and quickly found the cartoon on the computer.
So today's kids weren't asking to watch little ladies.
She had actually been saying little sheep.
After that, Lin Wan patiently corrected her.
"Come on. Say it after me. Little sheep."
"Little ladies."
"Little sheep."
"Little ladies."
…………………
After twenty rounds, he lost again.
Forget it.
As long as you're happy.
The little girl giggled happily while watching the cartoon.
Without realizing it, she climbed onto Lin Wan's lap.
He simply held her there as they watched together.
Honestly...
Holding a soft little bundle that smelled like baby powder was actually pretty relaxing.
Beep, beep—
His phone suddenly rang.
Lin Wan answered.
"Hello?"
"Lin Wan, weren't we supposed to play this afternoon? Why aren't you online yet?"
It was Zhuo Feng. He had been waiting in the game for quite a while and was getting anxious.
"I can't help it. I can't get away right now."
"What happened?"
"I'm babysitting..."
"Huh?"
On the other end of the call, Zhuo Feng froze.
Wait...
It's only been winter break.
How does he already have a kid?!
This was exactly the kind of wild imagination college students were known for.
"Big sister, stop talking on the phone. Watch TV with me, okay?"
The little girl noticed that Lin Wan wasn't looking at the cartoon anymore and became a little unhappy. She thought her favorite cartoon wasn't getting enough attention.
"Okay, okay."
Lin Wan agreed, then said into the phone,
"You heard her, right? I have to play with my relative's little girl. Let's play another time. I'm hanging up now."
With that, he ended the call.
Meanwhile, Zhuo Feng stared at his phone in complete confusion.
"...Big sister?"