Chapter 411: The Wish from the Past, the Delusion of Today
Step, step, step.
In the empty monastery, the sound of iron boots striking the floor echoed in the air.
Blue Sparrow was kneeling in front of the statue of the gods, surrounded by human corpses that had yet to be cleaned away.
She was covered in blood. The white decorative flowers on her nun’s habit had been dyed red, and even the pure, holy statue of the gods had not been spared. The pale stone at its feet was stained crimson.
Hearing the footsteps behind her, Blue Sparrow already knew who it was. All assassins from the House of Nightingale had the ability to move without making a sound, but now Cyan Hawk was deliberately letting his boots echo against the floor behind her. It was his way of telling her, he was here.
“You’ve come.”
“……”
After her call, the footsteps stopped, replaced by a long sigh.
“Was it worth it?”
Cyan Hawk stopped beside her. These days, he had become one of the most prominent figures in the knight order. Although he hadn’t officially been appointed captain or vice-captain, thanks to the Second Prince’s arrangements, he already had the authority to command the knights under the prince’s influence. And since most of the order was now under the Second Prince’s control, he was, for all practical purposes, a leader.
“Of course. My duty is to protect the children.”
Blue Sparrow smiled faintly, pushing aside a nearby corpse to make room.
She was already drenched in blood, so she didn’t mind brushing against a little more. Cyan Hawk, however, was wearing the pure white uniform of the knight order, any bloodstains would stand out immediately.
“You’ve gotten too deep into your role, Blue Sparrow.”
Cyan Hawk paused for a moment, but in the end sat cross-legged beside her, watching as she knelt in prayer.
“Mm. But isn’t everyone like that?”
Her voice was soft, as if afraid of disturbing the gods’ slumber. She lifted her head to look at the statue, then tilted it toward Cyan Hawk.
“How does it feel to be a real knight?”
“……”
At her words, Cyan Hawk’s expression didn’t change much. He simply sat in silence for a long time before answering quietly.
“It’s fine.”
“I see. I thought it would feel more special… Alright, alright, move a little closer. Don’t let the blood stain your clothes.”
“It’s fine.”
Cyan Hawk adjusted the edges of his uniform. The small, careful movement contrasted sharply with the usual stern, dignified image he gave off.
“Do you remember what we talked about when we were kids?”
“That was too long ago.”
Cyan Hawk lowered his head, idly running his fingers through the short hair by his temple.
“I remember you once said you wanted to become a priest in the temple, just like the great gods in the storybooks, so you could let everyone live peacefully and happily. And me… I said back then, if you became a little priest, I’d become your guard, the sister who would protect you forever. I even used to envy those heroic, dashing women knights.”
Blue Sparrow smiled softly as she spoke about their past.
Many people had seen Blue Sparrow and Cyan Hawk together often. Some guessed they were the most compatible partners, while others whispered about a “secret romance.”
But in truth, they were an older sister and younger brother who had grown up together.
They were not real siblings by blood.
When Blue Sparrow was little, she was abandoned because of the harsh life in the slums.
She had heard that the royal city was a prosperous place where everyone could have food and a warm home, so, using her small size to her advantage, she secretly hid in a carriage heading toward the capital, hoping to hitch a “free ride” there.
But she didn’t expect the bumpy ride to make her vomit midway. The noble riding in the carriage noticed something was wrong.
Disgusted by the sight, the noble got out in anger.
Because Blue Sparrow had delayed the coachman’s work, he beat her badly and threw her onto the half-traveled mountain road.
A few hours later, a passing merchant caravan came by, and one of the caravan’s guard-mercenaries found her half-dead in the grass. That was how she barely survived.
The image of the older sister who saved her left a deep impression in Blue Sparrow’s heart. That cool, heroic figure became something she admired as a child, and it made her determined to become someone who could protect others.
On the guards’ carriage, Blue Sparrow met Cyan Hawk, who was a little younger than her. Even back then, Cyan Hawk already looked serious and quiet, but perhaps because there was someone his age, their conversations were light and pleasant. The children’s chatter brought life to the otherwise dull escort journey for the mercenary group.
Unlike abandoned Blue Sparrow, Cyan Hawk was the son of one of the mercenaries. During an escort mission, his father was unfortunately killed, and the young Cyan Hawk was then taken in by the rest of the group.
Since he was still just a child, the mercenaries didn’t want him to be exposed too much to the bloody and cruel reality, so they often told him fairy tales instead.
Some of the mercenaries, who lived with death every day yet still believed in the gods, told him that the gods would always forgive everyone and bring happiness. They told Cyan Hawk that his father had simply been called away by the gods, like going on a business trip, and that he just couldn’t come back for now. But when Cyan Hawk grew up, he would know how to go find his father.
Young Blue Sparrow also listened to these stories about the gods. She half-believed them, but when she saw how much Cyan Hawk truly believed in them, she didn’t say anything to contradict it. After all, to these mercenaries, she was just a child they had rescued along the way, why should she break the story that comforted them?
She had to admit, even now, those were times she still missed dearly. Even if they were short, they were worth remembering.
Later, the mercenaries brought Blue Sparrow to the royal city, but because they needed to pay a large fee to send her to an orphanage, they hesitated.
Blue Sparrow, being smart and considerate, noticed their trouble and told them she had come to the royal city to live with relatives and knew the way there. She said if a whole group of mercenaries escorted her, her relatives would surely be scared.
With that clumsy excuse, she made the mercenaries let go of her hand. The adults could easily see the flaws in her story, but they still released her, letting her leave on her own. She even told this lie to little Cyan Hawk, who watched her run off into the distance.
But fate can be cruel. Only a few months later, when the weather was turning from summer to autumn, as if destiny had arranged it, Blue Sparrow, who had been surviving by selling wild fruit and flowers near the alleys, found Cyan Hawk huddled alone in an alleyway, wrapped in blankets thrown away by the rich.
Being a mercenary was always dangerous. The money they earned was traded for with their lives. Sometimes they came back, and sometimes… they didn’t.
Just like then, an entire mercenary group had been wiped out during a hopeless mission. The only one who survived was the still-small Cyan Hawk, who hadn’t even grown tall yet.
He ran and ran, just like Blue Sparrow had once done when she was alone. He kept running until he reached the royal city.
He had been to the royal city many times before and knew some merchants there. But he had no money, so he could get nothing. All he could do was keep wandering, looking for a place where he could survive and find food.
The young boy still remembered the direction Blue Sparrow had run toward, but that had only been a lie from her. He asked around in many places, but never found her.
In the end, all he could do was curl up in a corner wrapped in an old blanket in the chilly weather, leaving his survival up to fate.
And his fate… was probably to meet Blue Sparrow again.
“Falk.”
Back in the present, Blue Sparrow was still kneeling in front of the statue of the god.
Perhaps because he hadn’t heard his own name for a long time, Cyan Hawk didn’t react right away. It wasn’t until Blue Sparrow called him again that he remembered his name was Falk.
When they were children, just to survive, they had been lured into the House of Nightingales with a few pieces of bread and some warm clothes. They held hands like real siblings.
Blue Sparrow had once said that as his older sister, she would definitely protect him. Even after being trained and shaped into what she became, once she found the feeling of “being an older sister,” she still threw herself onto the path of protecting others.
Cyan Hawk had also once said that he wanted to work hard to become stronger and use his small power to make their home a safer, more peaceful place.
That was why he stayed by the Second Prince’s side, staying close to someone with high status and great power, so he could use that power to save people in his own way.
Unfortunately, their original wishes had twisted, just like the roles they now played.
It was as if they were each trying to fulfill the other’s dream, but it only ended in failure.
She did not become his guard, but became a nun. He did not become her cleric, but became a knight.
Cyan Hawk wanted to be a blessing to everyone, but was twisted into a butcher who only let the “worthy” live. That knight’s uniform he wore no longer had any real knightly spirit.
Blue Sparrow wanted to protect the weak, but was twisted into a murderer with countless lives on her hands, stubbornly living in what she believed was “protection.”
“You and I… we’re both going to hell, aren’t we?”
Who still remembered that they had once longed for heaven?
Blue Sparrow shifted her position, as if her legs had gone numb. She bent her knees and rested her head weakly on them.
Her blood-covered hands hesitated, unsure if she should touch Cyan Hawk’s still-pristine white-gloved hand.
But in the next second, Cyan Hawk firmly took her hand into his, letting the blood stain the white.
He didn’t care about red or white anymore. After all, he himself was not clean.
“Yes… Sister Elita.”
Cyan Hawk lifted his head, looking at the statue of the god that now held no meaning for him.
“…We are beyond redemption.”